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Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Unregisteredneedadvicexcv, Feb 4, 2009.

  1. What do you honestly think of a girl if she sleeps with you on a first date? Would you want to see her again? If not,why?
  2. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    if she is that easy, you would be worried later if the both of u end up as a couple and you have to go somewhere for a few weeks .
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    wheres the problem?
    surely its up to her if she wants to sleep with you on the first date the same as its up to you, would you feel bad or something for sleeping with someone quickly or feel that its just normal for the guy without any stigma being attached?
  4. Btw, I am a woman.
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    sorry, well my point still stands, i can't see a problem with it really

    if you like her and she likes you then go for it

    we all have sexual urges that needs to be satisfied and why wait if you find someone you fancy?
  6. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    Depends on the guy, I would imagine. If he has a history of sleeping around or is involved with somebody else, he probably wouldn't. If you really don't know him, and have very few mutual acquaintances I'd also take that as an indication that he's not going to take you seriously.

    Oddly I did sleep with the woman I eventually married on our first date. But I'm not so sure how applicable my past is to the trainwreck that is the current state of sexual mores in the West, since that was a helluva long time ago.
  7. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    On one level I agree, as long as there're no lies or misrepresentations on anyone's part. I'm in basic agreement with the idea that its none of my business what two consenting adults do.

    But on another I do not. First, to my mind this attitude reduces sex to the level of the drive-thru at McDonald's. But I also must admit that this belief of sex as something that should be a little bit more than horizontal aerobics, that I now have at age 44 is not exactly how I thought about things at 19 or 20. And that's putting it mildly. And second, I can't think of a topic that gives rise to more misunderstandings and differences in expectation than sex. IOW, I'm not so sure casual sex is ever really all that "casual" to at least one of the parties involved, even when there are no lies or misrepresentations involved.

    I guess my basic attitude is that its not my place to prevent somebody from rushing into sex, but that I'm also probably not going to be very sympathetic about their feelings if they feel used or unhappy afterwards.

    Meh, end of sermon. And sorry for going all OT.
  8. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i hate the double standards of the dating scene.

    i think as long as you (the girl) dont have aproblem with it, then F what the guy thinks. if its a negative thought then he doesnt deserve you :yes:
  9. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I know I don't have any right to judge, lol :tongue:. Some guys wouldn't want to date long term, but then again, those guys probably never liked you that much to begin with - they just took the chance to f***. Other guys would.

    Sex is irrelevant - on a first date it's false intimacy. Having sex on the first date doesn't necessarily mean either person has a stronger drive to stay with that person. Unfortunately some people can get really hurt by the false intimacy. As always, the important thing is whether or not both people get along and want to continue a relationship.

    Ignore guys that would make you feel bad about it though.


  10. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Sure if I liked her.
  11. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    I'd see her again if we got on ok.
  12. jacknife

    jacknife Guest

    Honestly, unless it was clear she was joking, some girl trying to sleep with me that soon would be a serious turn off.

    What ever happened to difficult women? I don't mean spoiled, nor do I mean fakes who "play" hard-to-get. I mean intelligent, independent women who put men last on their lists. They're cool.
  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Why is it a turn off? I honestly don't know why.I thought that's what men liked. :unsure:
  14. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    It would depend on if I'd known her for awhile before we actually had that first date, or if we had just met. Since you didn't specify, I'll take a guess and assume you are talking about sleeping with a guy you just met.

    If a girl I just met sleeps with me, I'd think that she's attracted to me on a purely physical level and is just looking for a good time with no strings attacthed, which I'm more than happy to provide.

    Would I want to see her again?......As a f***buddy maybe, but thats it. Would I start a relationship with her?.........not a chance.

    Jumping right into the sack with a guy on a first date sends a strong messege that you aren't looking for anything serious and just want to have some fun, regardless if that's your intentions or not.

    If you're just looking for a good time, then by all means, go for it. Nothing wrong with casual sex imo....we all got urges afterall. Just don't be suprised if you never hear from the guy again, or if he only calls you when he's horny from then on.

    By sleeping with a guy you just met, you are basically forefiting your right to get upset if he never calls you again as well as complain that he doesnt respect you.....Just my 2 cents.

    *of course, if you've been friends with the guy for awhile before you go on the first date, what I said doesn't apply in that case.*
  15. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    can still be after sex. everyone has urges (apart from asexual people, and fair play to them) even intellegant people.
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you for explained how guys think. Now I know why they never respected me..Oh well..I suppose it's never too late to turn things around..and yes as you've probably guessed, it was me that started that thread and I did mean with a guy I just met. Again, thank you :)
  17. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Anyone like to tell me why we have this thread on Sf and give me a reason not to close it, as irrelevant??
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :eek:hmy: wow, I only wanted peoples opinions on something thats bothering me. I dont have anyone else I can talk to.

    Why exactly is it irrelevant?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 4, 2009
  19. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    Cause half the threads on here don't pertain to suicide in any way. If this one is irrelevant, than you may as well close every other thread of this nature as well. Maybe it belongs in the "relationships" section instead of here though.
  20. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    a lot of threads on this site dont have anything to do with suicide,
    i didnt think that that's what the forum is about, mainly suicide.
    it's about helping people when they have problems, correct?
    if that's the case, then we should keep this thread up
    becasue a guest needs help with a situation, but
    deosnt feel like she should join here quite yet.
    also if the case is that this doesnt partain
    to suicide, then we might as well close
    down half the sections to post in
    on this site, if that made any