All hope is gone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DownInAHole, Aug 15, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. DownInAHole

    DownInAHole Active Member

    This world isn't for me.

    The worst thing that ever happened to me was to have been born.

    Only during sleep do I sometimes get any relief. I dread waking up in the morning.

    I often think about what my last moments of life will be like since I'm always thinking about suicide. I do fear very much the act of going through with it and what - if anything - is on the other side.

    I often hope that the atheists are correct and that it'll just be an eternal dreamless sleep. I am agnostic. I don't know. Life and the universe are a mystery to me. Too bad I have such a lowly view of the world and what's in it. If there was a Creator - I think it did the shittiest of jobs in its design.

    There is no help available out there. Only money and marijuana could help me. I have neither. It was a major mistake ever touching marijuana but it's the only known thing that gets rid of my depression/suicidal thinking.

    I need to sell/get rid of my possessions, order a few things, write a note, and overcome my survival instincts.

    All hope is gone.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Not quite all gone. You have this place. Even if only to vent and tell the things you cant in RL. Sometimes that is enough to help you reconsider and try a different or new path. It's not easy. But getting things out and knowing that someone else hears and knows what you are feeling is a blessing in itself. For some a turning point and others just a sense of not being alone with your pain anymore. Please keep posting. See what others may have to offer. :arms:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    this world is so hard on many of us
    but if you have that survival instict you have it
    sorry it doesn't go away
    use it okay to help others see
    no matter how difficult life gets
    somehow taking little steps and fighting small battles
    one can win some victories
    i believe you can okay
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.