all i do is cry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by meh__, Sep 17, 2007.

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  1. meh__

    meh__ Well-Known Member

    i wake up, cry in the shower.. cry as im getting ready for school, in the car on the way to school,on the way to work, when im hanging out,when im home alone.

    lately i just cant stop crying.. just as i had gotten myself through hell i have fallen back into a dark scary suicidal hole and honestly, i dont think its worth pulling myself out of anymore.

    sure, i have people around me who would be sad if i died, but they would get over it..i have managed to push away the close friends i once had and now i am just so lonely. i feel like there is not one person in the world who understands me (ew i'm such a typical fvcking teenager)

    life to me is meaningless..i dont have a purpose or a reason to continue..my existance isnt benificial to anyone, nobody relies on me solely for support. i havent even lived half a century and already i am fed up with the world and every human being. i believe everyone is born selfless,but we are trained to become selfish pigs. i cannot conform to society's standards. i dont feel human. i just have such a weird way of thinking and over-analyzing things.

    i feel like a piece of trash. i am not even worth a second look. i just want to meet someone with a caring compassionate heart who will treat me right, because i really don't know what right is..and who's to say what is right anyway?i need to be loved. im ugly.

    i just want to go get high..i want lots and lots of mushrooms and coke and fvcking pot and just be at peace. all i want is peace. i turn on the tv, and all i see is fvcking horrible terrible things happening which make me feel like shit for being a depressed little wh0re. i want to change the world, i try to make small differences by pledging what money i have to those in darfur, but really, it makes no fvcking difference.

    the world is a horrible place and i dont want to be a part of it anymore.

    and yet no one even read that probably HA. if there is a god or some higher power please please kill me now
     
  2. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member


    God will not take you till its your time hun..

    Even if you do attempt if its not your time then you will still be here.. i know just how you feel believe me i do and i am sure a lot more here can tell you they have felt or still feel like that.. i even tried to take my life many times , not just once or twice but several and something always stopped me or interferered cause it is not my time yet , and at one attempt i ended up with something bad that was a consequence of my actions..

    please dont try it?

    i care and so do a lot of others here..

    if you ever want to talk or anything i am only a pm away

    :hug:
     
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