All I do is hurt my family. Why should I bother living?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by android_duck, Jan 8, 2012.

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  1. android_duck

    android_duck New Member

    I am a seventeen year old male. I have felt frustration, emptiness and suicidal thoughts for the last three years. I'm sick of pretending my life means anything when this is all I can feel. All I can do with my life is destroy members of my family; the only people in the world who'll ever really help me. These feelings won't go away and if I don't end my own life I fear I might just become a burden to everyone; myself included.

    Today, after a small argument with my mother, she called me "mad" which I hate. I reacted by verbally abusing her, bringing up mistakes from her past. When she turned around to ignore me, I flung my hand at her back (I know, disgusting). It wasn't hard, and it was only when I saw my Mum's reaction that I realized what I'd done. I didn't realize it at the time, but I hit a woman. I don't want to live as that sort of person; but when I can't love other people or feel close to them, I don't know what else I can be. The frustration, loneliness and boredom just swells up and in the end it's my family that suffer. I don't want to live if all I do is give them pain. I never wanted to be that sort of person, but it's too late now isn't it? I hit my own mother, the lowest action I could possibly commit. There's no going back now is there? should I just end my life before things get worse?
     
  2. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Welcome, I'm glad you found us.

    There can be a lot of negative things surface in youth, that are gone with maturity. Seek some professional help, maybe attend some anger management classes as well.

    This is a caring community, where you can vent your frustrations or things bothering you, before they build and come out in inappropriate ways. You can post (almost anything, refer to the FAQ) without being judged. We try to help each other, and you will probably find some people who have had your feelings and actions.
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi android duck. I agree that it was wrong of you to hit your own mother, because she is the one who gave birth to you and raised you into the person you are now. Killing yourself is never the answer. Do you think your mom would want you to end your life because you hit her? I honestly don't think so. I think you should apologize to her for hitting her and yelling at her. We all lose our temper at some point. Just make sure you don't hit her again, because then she could charge with physical assault.
     
  4. shub11

    shub11 Banned Member

    yOU ARE JUST 17 you could do so much with your life ...so many options ae there not like us Oldies ... so go ahead grab some beer bang some blondes .....bitches ...and stop hitting your mother ...
     
  5. sevendust

    sevendust Active Member

    No, you shouldn't end your life, you should apologize to your mom, for striking her, give her a hug, and ask for her help. Your family may understand you, more then you may believe, especially your mother, she brought you into this world, and raised you.

    Appears to me, you have anger issues. I was once in your shoes, at your age. I was angry all the time, but didn't know why? But, as I matured into a man, I realized I was terrified of going out into the world, with no guidance in life, no goals, no dreams, Etc.... I was terrified of the day, my parent's say, alright it's time, your on your own.

    Sit down, have a talk with your family, ask them how they can help, what you could do, to improve your relationship towards them, ask them what bother's them about your personality, Etc..... Make an effort to improve your relationship. Praise yourself each step, you achieve :hug:
     
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