What set me off is PMing back and forth with someone this morning. They were really upset, I thought we were getting somewhere, but now they've gone and done God knows what. I feel so useless and helpless and pathetic. I should have been able to do more. :cry:
This is the first time the forums have made me feel bad. But everyone saying they're gonna go and kill themselves now/tomorrow/next week/whatever... It's good because often we can help people and help them through it but if we can't then what's the point in anything? :sad: If people won't keep talking what more can I do?? :blub:
I have been in this situation many times and it is so hard, constantly worrying, the guilt, the feeling of if only. But please be assured that it is not your fault...there is nothing more you could have done...you will have helped them.
ultimately there is only a limited amount we can do with only words over a computer, but trust me they do really help. A person's actions is only the responsibility of that individual, it is NOT your fault.
i know it's hard, but keep on trying to help people
i can definately understand that feeling of thinking that you're not helping, or not knowing what to say or how to help.
If you're a natural "helper" it's hard not to worry about such things.
But, if you can, why not go and train to be a counsellor, therapist, professional listener, professional helper.
Go volunteer at your local Mental Health Charity (Mind in the uk.. www.mind.org.uk I believe) or at the samaritans.
They will give you some training, and SOME training will help you.
even a little training will not only help you help others better, but will help you help yourself - sounds wierd, but it does - When you start to really help people - by that I mean in a formalised way you start to become a bit more detached (which is how you can help more) and in doing so, you see your problems in a totally different way.
You do help people sweetheart!!! Just being there helps so much...but, at times when people feel so awful and have a bad state of mind, sometimes there is nothing you can do but just be there for them.
And....beleive me, I know the feeling, I have felt that way before. I beleive I just posted something pretty close to this not too long ago. But you do help, you are a great help, more than you know hun... you are a great people, it's a wonderful privaledge to know you hun!!
I am so glad you found SF, so far I have really enjoyed knowing you and seeing your posts, I hope you stick around hun, I hope to get to know you more soon! I have just been so drained mentally and physically I haven't PMed a lot of people I would like to and that I am thinking about and praying for.
Hang in there hun, you deserve help and support also!!! you are a wonderfuly helpful, caring, beautiful person!!! please remember that no matter what happends in life. You are wonderful, no matter what you think or anyone says.
Take care sweetheart!!!! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :cheekkiss
-Big hugs and best wishes-,
PS - if you ever want to PM me to get to know eachother or talk or support or anything, don't hesitate, I would love hearing from you!
I too understand where you are coming from. Now, is a great time for you to learn/practice boundaries. Only cuz it is a tough thing to master.
I have said some nice, good timing, encouraging things and I have hurt feelings and not thought out my writings first. You just do all you can.
When you speak of people making plans or attempts...remember what time of year it is...what triggers occur due to family...what responsibility that uni or school, work affects things.
Continue !!! the "helping", but know your limits. As I learned " you must take care of yourself in order to help others".
See ya around,
I am glad you are ok hun, I really am, I was worried, but you are a strong and wonderful person, and I have faith you will make it sweetie, take it one day at a time (I know that's hard to do).....and I will PM you sometime soon! :hug: :hug: :hug: