All I want.....

[Meander]

It's too much. I want to die. I want my life to be over. It's all I want. I don't care who or what kills me. It doesn't matter why I want it. I don't know and I don't care. It's not as if I'm that important. It would hurt people yes, but everyone loses people they love. They would grieve for a while then get over it. Move on, and be themselves again. Everything will continue as it was, exept that I won't be in the way and I'll have what I want.

 

[cthulhu]

evfer hear of a suicdie chain, it is were one person kills them seves, then another then another and so on, if i were to off my self first my mother would kill her self, then my suister, then my cousin, then more ppl an d more pppl...so no, killing your sefl bad...i dig the hopless thing you re feeling, i feel it right now, i am sick and worried about it, if it is sreious i am gonna die alone, but i still no mater what want to live...it is imposible for me to consider any other option at this point...and if none of the matters, i would miss eeing you in and out of chat, i would eventualy ask"where is Meander, i havent seen them on for a while", then i would proly find out some way you had died, then i would cry...no i dont know you, but you are a human being and i tend to cry when a light snuffed out before its time...

 

[Meander]

"Be content to be alive, in that alone you have what so many have been denied."

How many times I've said that I can't possibly imagine. It's been at least 6 years since I first said it. I still don't know what it means. It just seemed so natural to say it. A tribute to the only 2 I've ever really felt I could trust. The only "loved ones" I had lost since I was too young to remember. Why am I even saying this now. It has nothing to do with anything. I wasn't even thinking of them during my rant... but like my saying it seemed so natural to think of them. To remember them. Whether I'm reasured that I haven't always been alone, or tearing my heart out in agony over how they died... who knows?