All is good but I feel crap

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by BlueGolf, Jun 8, 2016.

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  1. BlueGolf

    BlueGolf New Member

    I run my own business, I have a happy healthy family and I lead two charities that are both doing well in their fields of interest. What's not to like, except today I can't get my head out of 'I want to die mode'. THis is despite feeling good all week so far, and starting ok today.

    I have barely slept this week - probably why I feel so low now - all driven by my brain not stopping the other night, and me getting about 3 hours sleep. I see why sleep deprivation is used as torture.

    The mental pain is so high, yet I know that is all it is - pain. I just need to rest from it.

    How do others get out of the 'suicidal day' mode and back to thinking 'normally'?
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    *hugs* What about telling a professional how you are feeling?
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hi Bluegolf, probably the best thing to do would be try and get some sleep and see how that works. Welcome to the forum
  4. BlueGolf

    BlueGolf New Member

    Sleep is the biggest problem. I'd love to get sleep but can't get to sleep. Last night however, I listened to a meditation track and dozed off, waking a few hours later it having stopped but with earphones still in my ears. More of that I think. Caffeine helped today but I don't want to rely on it - it's proven a vicious circle for me before.
    Brian777 likes this.
  5. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    I've tried those meditations on YouTube sometimes they work quite well, also, melatonin has helped me recently.
    Good luck
  6. CoolGoat995

    CoolGoat995 Member

    I feel caffeine is such an "artificial" way to feel awake, do you guys feel this? Like literally my eyes are being forced awake and you feel all neurotic but deep deep down you're actually still tired. It's like the coffee is forcing you to be "fake awake"!

    So many people say they can't get through the day without their coffee but it is not even effective! it leads to a "high" but follows with a "crash" which amplifies the existing depressive feelings. Nothing can replace sleep/rest. Human body needs to sleep, no "artificial drug" can override that

    You gotta (try to) sleep well and eat well. It will improve your day x10000. Healthy body and brain certainly helps emotional anguish/depression (i know it doesn't fully heal it but it is a necessary prerequisite)

    Try to reduce the coffee intake as no matter how tired you are coffee will inevitably make you crash. It is a demon disguised as a routine part of people's working day. But they all look and feel like zombies in front of the computer screen even after 4-5 cups. I think its as addictive as cigarettes, but people never antagonize it.
  7. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    I don't drink coffee but I drink a lot of coke zero. Like literally 4-6 cans per day. A few days ago I was at my dad's house and went the whole day with little to no caffeine and I had a blistering headache afterwards. It could be coincidence but once I chugged a coke it mostly went away.

    People don't antagonize caffeine because there's no such thing as caffeine cancer and the long term effects of aspartame are still unknown. All I know is it keeps me awake and I don't get headaches. If it turns my brain into swiss cheese when I'm 70 then so be it.
  8. bec1216

    bec1216 Active Member

    Whenever I'm having a suicidal-feeling day I listen to music, which Is really helpful, or I write about what I'm feeling. Getting my thoughts out on paper or even typing about it can be helpful.
  9. concerned07

    concerned07 Member

    Bluegolf have you ever tried melatonin supplement. I use it to help me sleep. It works plus its something your body produces naturally, so its not like taking some junk sleeping aide. Whenever I get into suicidal day mode I think about my parents and how my death could contribute to theres. And that changes my thinking.
  10. mchung

    mchung Well-Known Member

    I've tried exercising, socializing, volunteering to cheer myself up to very limited success, but do try for yourself to see if they work for you. They provide temporary relief. (I am currently debating of getting a loving cute pet, but don't want to be an irresponsible owner as I am quite busy).

    I have the same problem with sleeping. I could never commit to it, but sleep condition has proved effective for some. 1. If you can't fall asleep within 10 minutes then get up and do something else. 2. Never do anything on bed besides sleeping. Don't even go near the bed until bed time.

    I also find rubbing my own belly relaxes me before falling asleep; it makes me hungry though. Hope you can find a way to deal eventually. Different things work for different people. Let me know if you succeed would love to try it out.
  11. BlueGolf

    BlueGolf New Member

    thanks for ideas on this thread so far. I do loads of volunteering, but it is all board type stuff rather than practical. Thinking of changing that, so that I do something different volunteering than at work. Good thinking about bed, although I have found recently that listening to something in bed keeps my mind focused towards that, and not wandering off down unhelpful or dangerous paths....the one thing that has worked, but does go against common perceptions of good sleep.

    Doing more exercise now. Definitely having a positive effect on me, but nothing noticeable on sleep.

    This weekend was better, at least in so much as keeping fairly busy and staying positive. Hanging in there.
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