All is lost

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by PandorasToybox, Aug 1, 2009.

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  1. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I lost my last supporter today ... pretty much got told to piss off... thus I took a large enough amount of tylenol .. I was skitterish as is, because the police were in my apartment building banging on peoples doors, and after many past visits I'm totally anti police.

    I honestly dont care at this point if I end up with liver damage or whatever.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I see your rather new so I am glad had the courage to post so you could get some of the support and help I got when I first came to SF and wanted to die so very badly.

    I am sorry I don't know much about what you are going through right now so if you could share I and others can offer support and share how we have gotten through similar situations.

    Sorry I don't know what to say just yet other than I care and would like to help you figure this whole thing out a bit so your happy again.

    Hugs B
  3. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    U need to get that shit looked after man....u can really hurt urself....i hope u go to the least consider tell someone
  4. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I tried telling people before the fact & they never listened. If it gets bad I'll look at getting some medical help tomorrow
  5. Toki Wartooth Lover

    Toki Wartooth Lover Well-Known Member

    lies. You haven't lost your last supporter. you still have me.
  6. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    i just wanted 2 let u know u have support here.. none of us will tell u 2 'get lost' .. coz we understand what its like 2 feel alone and suicidal..
    iv taken quite a few overdoses and its messed my body up quite alot .. the thing with overdosing is that sometimes u can feel ok but inside ur body the tablets are still damaging u .. if u can get 2 the hospital i really think u should go .. or even call 999..

    i got this from wikipedia -
    Acetaminophen causes three times as many cases of liver failure as all other drugs combined,[6] and is the most common cause of acute liver failure in the United States,[5][7] accounting for 39% of cases. While it occurs through overdosing,[4] even recommended doses especially combined with even small amounts of alcohol, have caused irreversible liver failure.

    please get help :hug:
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey don't let dumb ass do this to you. You have a cause and yes you will come up against idiots and people who don't get it or give a dam thats when you walk away and say well maybe someday they will get it. I hope you went and got help you need please don't harm yourself we are here we support you we understand please get help don't kill you liver like that don't hurt you over someones lack of compassion lack of insight and stupidity. They obviously have the problem not you.
  8. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I almost hope there is some sort of liver damage just so I can turn and say "See what you culd have helped stop" ... I mean telling a suicidal person to piss off... not a good idea... especially when they tell you that ensuring your safety is part of their job.

    That's ok, Karma can be a b*tch, and he'll be learning that quickly!
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry someone said that to you :(

    It was really insensitive of them.

    You definitely haven't lost your last supporter though,you have all of us :D

    Hang in there buddy!
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hurting yourself is not going to make him pay for anything. Continuing on with your goals and your efforts to get support in place for all students will show that ass you mean business and that his stupidity will be ignored WALK away from him and continue on doing the great job you have been doing we support you all the way
  11. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I don't take rejection well :sad: I won't lie about that.

    When he told me to essentially piss off & have a nice summer (which he knows I can't because of my current situation) I got upset :sad:
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yeh i know it hurts i hate people who are cruel like that it hurts when people are assholes but you know you are better then him you know because you are compassionate and thoughtful unlike this person who will get whats coming to him or her. What goes around comes around and someone will tell him to piss off one day to and it will hurt then this person will understand. Now just know you have people here who care and understand and truly admire you for who you are and what you are doing. take care and let pain go he is not worth all this pain
  13. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hi again .. :)
    its understandable u were upset .. i would be aswel .. but causing urself serious liver damage wont change what he said .. or how he is ..
    im sorry if i sound harsh .. i just really want u 2 be safe and get medical attention ..
    u sound like a really nice person .. i hope u call 911/999 or go 2 a hospital :hug:
  14. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Mmm yeah, I just wish those people could walk a mile in my shoes for once, you know? I can let it go & feel the occassional sting, but yesterday when I got the e-mail, I friggin broke down & swallowed the meds. It's like I'll do anything not to feel the phyiscal sting anymore.
  15. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I don't think hurting myself will change what he said, but physical pain makes the mental pain go away.
  16. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    i know .. i SI .. and iv taken lots of overdoses as i said b4 - jus 2 feel worse in my body than i did in my head ..
    but its taken its toll .. my body is really messed up ..
    please get help .. there are ppl at the hospital that can help u .. like that wikipedia article said .. if u have taken an overdose of it its v v serious ..
    i cant make u go there .. but i hope u do .. u DO have options right this moment .. and the main one is 2 seek help .. i hope u do :hug:
  17. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Not gonna lie I've been to the hospital before & we have a really, reallllly bad MH care system... to the max...& they even admit its bad, which says something.

    I just never see the point in moving forward when I have nobody supporting me. I f they arent supporting me then obviously they don't care whether or not I'm alive.
  18. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    u know - with me i havent got anyone that gives a feck about me ..
    so i figured i can either let the past and present things eat me up and destroy me ..
    or i can give a feck about ME .. and not let ppl kill me physicly like they have inside my head ..
    i know its hard .. more than hard sometimes ..
    iv had bad experiences at hospitals aswel .. but right now that may be the best place 4 u .. if u dont get help soon u could have irriversable liver damage ..
    im sure u know - but it causes a very slow and painful death .. u will be reliant on others untill u pass .. its not a nice way 2 go .. i have seen ppl die from it ..

    i dont want 2 sound like im lecturing u .. i see alot of myself in what u say .. i really hope u get help x
  19. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    To be honest I really don't want to go to the hospital even if it kills me but I'll go in to see my counselor (as much as I HATE him haha) and I guarantee he'll force me in
  20. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    i hope it goes well with ur councilor .. x
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