I had a good life and a good job before... I was sober, didn't eat meat, and didn't smoke. People respected me and I couldn't have been happier. I exercised almost daily and slept well everynight. I always got up right away in the morning, ready to take on the day. I was happy basically all the time. I was in my early 20's and had never really read much about addiction or alcoholism. I had overcome alcoholism when I was 22 but I did it on my own without ever reading it or officially "knowing how" people do it. I just did it. And I was a very heavy drinker! Well... Having never read much about it, I didn't know that if you're like I am and you quit, you can never ever EVER EVER go back, not even for one drink EVER! I did not know this and drank at Christmas one year. Since then, I have spent about 5 or 6 years trying to quit. The first time I quit, it was easy. I just did it. Maybe it was because I was younger and didn't think about it much. It is MUCH harder this time around but also, life has changed and I am facing different problems than I did before. I wish I could erase the last 5 years and have a do-over but I lost my flux capaciter AND the Dolorean so I'm unable, at the moment, to go back in time. I have some money problems and problems with mate issues right now and a lot of anxiety. Believe me, none of this is helping me kick the drinking. I'm the type of person where when I sober up for just a week or two, my WHOLE life will go BACK into focus. EVERYTHING will be different.... Right now, I'm getting horribly depressed because I always embarrass myself when I drink and I HATE getting up the next day, thinking, "Oh, I've done it now!" So anyhow... I have depression and emotional problems which are essentially 99% influenced by alcohol. None of my other problems bother me when I don't drink. I completely have empathy for ANYONE suffering from any type of addiction. You can't understand it unless you've been there. It can be so hard and so sad. So next time you're about to call that junky on the street a loser... Think about that they don't want to be like that. They really want a normal life. Just like me. So anyhow... I guess if anyone is an addict who is reading this, maybe we could try to quit together or something. The first time I quit, at day 14, it was like someone flipped a switch and I just all of a sudden became a completely different person with a completely different life. It was AMAZING. I want to do it again. I MUST LIVE THAT LIFE AGAIN!!!!!!!!