I feel the need, really alot. I haven't for over 3 months now. If I was to, I might even get a decent nights sleep tonight. Been waking up later and later these days, didn't get out of bed today until noon. If I was to, it would numb things. Just for a little while I know, but thats enough for me right now. I just want this pressure gone. I want to be free, I want to be a freebird flying the sky and having no care in the world at all. "I've been around this world, yet I see no end. All shall fade to black, again and again. This storm that’s broken me, my only friend. Withdraw a step away, just to find my self The door is closed again, the only one left This storm that’s broken me, my only friend In this river all shall fade to black In this river ain't no coming back In this river all shall fade to black Ain't no coming back" For some reason, these lyrics have meaning. Please, if you get a chance to listen to the song it's by 'Black Label Society' called 'In This River'. I love the whole song and could just post the lyrics to you but you need to hear it too. Think I'm just going to leave now, go to my room and listen on my ipod. I will really try and not to, but I can't promise. The tears are to much right now to handle, I think it's the only way out tonight.