All the things I love

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ScarsRunDeep, Jan 30, 2013.

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  1. ScarsRunDeep

    ScarsRunDeep New Member

    I woke up this morning literally dead set on ending my life. I spent my day preparing. I took a long hot shower, might as well use all the hot water since it will be the last time I can do so. I said some goodbyes to my bestfriends telling them they really were the best and that i love them. I wrote 2-3 page letters to my close family members and a general note just telling everyone im sorry and what i want done with my body.

    I really thought that was it, I was going to take my last walk a couple mins down the road and <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods> and i figured that would be the quickest way. Before I left I put on my favorite clothes, cuddled my dog and ate some of my favorite foods. In doing all of this I thought to myself, "Am I ready to never experience any of these things again?" Especially having my 140lb mastiff drooling happily next to me as I scratched him. So I decided that I would fill an entire page of things I enjoy in life. I titled the page: "All the things I love."

    Important things like my family and friends (I wrote all their names seperatly so I could think about everyone that would be hurt by my suicide individually)&simple things like a warm summer night, succeeding at something, shopping, icecream, even the colour pink. Then I starting thinking about all the things I would like to add to the list one day that I have not yet experienced like horseback riding, sky diving, getting married (I'm engaged.), travelling places I've always wanted to go, maybe even warm up to being a mother (also pregnant..).
    It helped me find some solid ground. Im hoping it may help someone else.

    Before committing suicide really think and physically write out EVERYTHING you enjoy, remember SIMPLE things can really mean alot too (the smell of rain in autumn, laughing, reading a good book). Aim to fill the whole page, I even wrote sideways to fill all the white. If you can't think of enough to fill the page think of things you would add if you had the chance. Chances are that once the page is filled you will feel better and maybe have some new goals!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2013
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    ScarsRunDeep, I am so glad you are still with us! That is a very insightful post. I'm sure you've helped some people today. *hug*
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thank you hun for your post and i too am glad you stayed hun to enjoy all those things hugs to you
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