All the yelling and constantly making me feel bad!

[twilight]

At first I didn't even want to talk about my family. But here it goes anyways...

My family is a mess from where I can see it. If I made one little mistake my parents (especially my father) would be very hard on me. When I was younger, he would practically terrorize me by treating me so badly mostly by speaking to me very harshly. I was really afraid of him and there was no kindness, only punishment when I made a mistake. He didn't exactly beat me up but there might have been some physical abuse that I think I have blocked out but I can vaguely remember. As I got older, it got better but neither of them are nice people.

Recently I have had some dissappointments with getting a driver's license. I am 19 but with no license. I was going to take my road test but I didn't realize my permit expired. So of course when they found out it expired there was no sympathy at all. I told them I would pay for the next permit but that didn't change a thing. All they did was yell at me about not planning things out properly. Why couldn't they see I felt bad enough about it already? Why were they trying to make me feel worse? I don't understand it.

I would never ever tell them about all my psychological/emotional problems. Here are some "inspirational" quotes from them when I have ever acted like I needed something from them.

"Stop crying or I will give you something to really cry about"
My personal favorite. Not so much spoken to me recently but I can still hear my mom telling me this when I was just a little kid. It made me feel horrible.

"Don't throw yourself a pity party." Thanks for the advice again, mom! Or better yet when she said, "you're no fun to be around."

Just my sad story. I know that there are worse situations than mine though.

 

[thedeafmusician]

Thats what I say pretty much all the time, that there are people with worse situations than mine... but the thing is with saying that, you cant really judge situations, because the people in it are different every time and have different ways to cope with it.

Its really unfair a unjust of your mother to say that.. could you possibly get a job and try to get the money to move out? Staying is probably really going to make things worse. But then on the other hand... you're not quite a kid anymore, so you ARE entitled to have your say in things.

My dad is/was hard on me too, but maybe not to that extent... as is his dad to my mum and me too. :dry: Over time you learn to block them out a bit and you kinda keep telling yourself that it isnt worth it to get worked up by it, even though its really a LOT easier said than done...

This post probably wasnt much help... but I kinda felt I had to reply to it... you can PM me if you want... I'll reply. :hug:

Take care, TDM

 

[twilight]

I'm glad that you replied. I neglected to mention that I actually don't live there as of now. I live in a college dorm which has been kind of difficult lately but at least I am not there. I don't know what I am going to do this summer when I don't have any school though. I will try to figure out something to avoid them. I have just recently decided that it would be a good idea to try to avoid contact with them if at all possible.

Pretty soon I am going to have to see a therapist... Will I have to talk about my parents or childhood all of the time? I don't know if I can handle that.

You did help. Thanks.

 

[left behind]

i know how you feel, i've had thoughts about suicide for a few years and my step-dad never seems to have any sympthy. he always feels the need to point out the fact of how pathetic i am for it.

my mum is an alcholic and after 2 years of being sober she started heavily drinking about a month ago and mentioning about wanting to end he own life (shes in hospital after atempting to overdose last week). anyway, when her drinking became really bad i was completly overwelmed with worry and had started to self-harm worse than ever before. my step-dad deciding to motivate me by making my paint my neighbours fence. while i was doing it he could tell i was pissed off with being forced to do the task so he decided to say "why don't you be happy doing it, would you rather kill yourself". he found his own comment really funny. what a d**khead. and my neighbour payed him for it, i didn't get a penny.

comments from parents can hurt the most.

 

[thedeafmusician]

Seeing a therapist can be a lot of help, if you let it help you... but you really only get out of therapy what you put into it. You wouldnt have to talk about your parents or childhood all the time... you're entitled to talk about what you want.

I hope it goes well with the therapist.

TDM

 

[shadowcat]

hang in there I know it seems you are down in the valley now as time goes on there wil be a day that you are on top of the mountain.