All these opportunitys but I feel like im going nowhere?

[reallyreally2011]

Hey guys, This is my first post so be nice!

Basically I cut to the chase. Im a 19 year old male from England, I have a nice family, (Small me mum and dad) well off well brought up. I am training to be in the Police as its my life dream, and on the side sell TV's for a part time job. Im most of the time happy, content always friendly, generally a nice guy all in, without sounding to big headed. Ive only ever had one girlfriend, But she wasnt for me, and as bad as I feel to say this, still a virgin and still waiting for this special someone that "apparntly" will come along. I get thoughts in to my head sometimes when im alone about just cutting lose and seeing what will happen when I pass away. To be honest I dont even know why I get these thoughts, I have everything (with in reason) I need/would like and still I just think its better if I take my own life, and restart, as I stupidly belive in rebirth. Im really asking if someone reading has the same thoughts as me? or knows what I make life that little bit better?

If so please share your ideas!

cheers,

 

[total eclipse]

No i can honestly say i do not think we restart our lives again after death i think it is final there is only pain left behind for others to endure of our passing

 

[dazzle11215]

welcome. it's hard to know what's up based on the few things you've told us. have you ever seen a doctor about these thoughts? maybe they can help you eliminate a few things, like depression or bipolar. i'm a big fan of therapy, too. maybe there are some unresolved issues lurking around in your emotional life. are you feeling suicidal at the moment or does it just come into your mind as a fleeting thought and then leave again? do you think about acting on these thoughts? sorry for all the questions, just trying to understand a little better. again, welcome.

 

[reallyreally2011]

Hey, thanks for the reply, its welcomed.

Nope never had to to be honest I dont really want to unload all my info on someone whos getting paid £40 a hour to sit there a listen. It comes in to my mind every now and then, its odd because I feel pretty normal but then the more I think about it, the more I think of just getting it done with. Dont know what to do!

 

[nolonger]

I like to believe in some kind of rebirth/reincarnation. It doesn't exactly help my suicidal thoughts because I start thinking that if I just do it, I'll be able to come back and live a better life(more happy, blah blah blah).

I think you should tell your doctor about this, because it could be something as 'simple' as a chemical imbalance(then you'll go on meds to fix it or something). You really need to try and fix it before it fucks your life over, plus it might be dangerous if it isn't treated and you end up with a gun in the police force :unsure:.

 

[Jenny]

Hi

Welcome to the forum

My first thoughts are that you may be suffering from depression? You say that things in your life are generally 'ok' and that really you see no real reason to feel sad.. but in reality you often think about ending your own life. Suicidal ideation may well be present for a number of reasons.. and to a certain extent i think it's quite normal for people, every now and then, to consider "i wish i were dead", but it sounds like more than this for you.. it sounds like the thoughts and hopelesness sometimes take over, despite having no real reason (from what you say) to feel like it?

That could well be depression.. and i wonder if you'd ever consider talking to your GP about it. I understand what you mean about counsellors but i think there are some cheaper ones available too. If you're 19 you could try to find your local 'youth counselling service' which should provide free or cheap counselling for people up to 25 years.. this could help maybe?

Is there anyone else in your life who knows how you're feeling? Like your parents or friends? I'm really glad that you wrote about how you're feeling here and hope you continue to do so if it helps. And most of all i hope that you'll keep yourself safe and not let those feelings of taking your like take over. Do you have anything that could help when you start to think those thoughts?

Take good care of yourself
Jenny x