allset to go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by chrism67, Mar 20, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I cant tell my therapist how far my thinking has gone. I even drove to where i would go. I just cant spit it out. I feel that our sessions have been more distant. I know that is probably me with the bpd just feeling that way.
    ive been feeling distant from everyone. From my kids to those on my treatment team. My anger is out of control. Im just falling apart. Im depressand just dont see a way out. Im also cutting and my mind seems to go somewhere but i dont know where it goes. I think im beyond hope.
     
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi chrism - No one is beyond hope, that is the good news, although it can be hard to believe. There are resources that can help your thinking, I know because they came to me when I was in the condition you describe. I'd like to help you if you would let me, if your thinking is the problem. Blessings and strength and all good wishes to you, :reub:
     
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Do you not love your kids?
     
  4. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Loving my kids are not the issue. Of course i do. The problem is my thinking, and i love them dearly. But my thinking tells me thatmaybe theres someone better than me. I dont want to drag them down. I dont deserve them. I know my thinking is off buti cant change. ive been like this too long i think people are getting tired of me, even my therapist and counselor and case manag er. they all need a break from me.
     
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    You are not understanding the word "love." Do you not realize what you will do to your kids if you leave them?? My son left me. He committed suicide in 2010. My life is ruined as a result. Every second of every day is lonely depression for me. No, I'm not suicidal... I am channeling my energy into working on ways to ensure that other parents do not have to suffer as I have. I've achieved A LOT... including being heavily in the media as a result of these things I do... And in reverse, a child would feel the same way if they lost their parent. DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN! Love means you have to do anything and everything in your power to keep them happy.
     
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