I was sleeping one night last week, when all of a sudden I woke up around 3:30 am. Woke up breathing heavy. I think I was choking on my own vomit. Went to the bathroom. My chest all red. I know deep down I will die before I reach 30. I had that feeling since I was 17. I just dont know if I will die by natural death/me getting killed by someone else/suicide, etc. Gets depressing more and more. 26 Years old almost 27. Live alone, work some stressful job. Not much family talks to me (only my parents, and they are between 60-70 years old). And they dont talk very much. Not much friends. Never had any "best friends" in my life. Some girl backed out when I asked her for a date. They treat me like an "last resort". Thats even more reasons Im finding not to stay around.