Almost killed... Wasn't scared

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Alexein, Oct 20, 2008.

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  1. Alexein

    Alexein New Member

    I recently was in a terrible accident. An explosion embedded shrapnel in my face, neck, chest and arms. I was bleeding profusely and had enough holes in me to look like swiss cheese.

    I was rescued by my co-workers who promptly called an ambulance and kept me from bleeding out.

    I was conscious the whole time and while it was incredibly painful with blood squirting outta my neck and holes clear through my cheeks.... I wasn't scared.

    I had always been depressed and suicidal but i always thought i would be scared of death. Turns out i really wasn't.

    I just looked at the blood pooling into my hands and around my feet and thought "finally... the end".

    The physical pain... didn't bother me. How far gone am I? I've been hurting so badly for so long that getting my face blown off didn't phase me.

    If i ever get close to death like that again, i won't save myself. My co-workers got to me this time. I hope the next time they're not around or i suffer from something that they can't save me from.

    I'm not scared.
  2. QuadLazer

    QuadLazer Well-Known Member

    Not 100% sure, but I think the term for that stuff is "para" suicide. Where you don't go out of your way to end your life, but if it happens, it happens.

    Anyway... you definitely wanna tell someone. Not just on here, but anyone you know or preferably trust. It's not supposed to be normal- humans are designed to be naturally afraid to die. So, not saying you're "not normal" or anything (because plenty of people are like that, it's either way), BUT honestly you should try talking to someone. I'm not a professional, and you probably won't find a professional on here, either. Tell someone you trust, ask around and check out any local counseling services, therapy stuff, etc. Just make some phone calls. If the thoughts do persist and you feel like you want to go and do something drastic- either tell or call someone.
  3. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way, if I was about to be dead, I don't think I would care. I don't have the strength to do it myself.
  4. scottmajor

    scottmajor Member

    i have occasions to death but the police kept finding me i am planning my next attempt but its proving hard to get holf of what i need

    i would be really happy iof god called my time right now as i cant cope anymore and the doctor dont even care
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