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Almost out of options

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by MildCat, Mar 16, 2015.

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  1. MildCat

    MildCat Member

    I've lost all faith in myself. I'm on the verge of losing my job, and a place to live. My mother is dying, my father doesn't want me, and my aunt, who took me in after my father kicked me out, gave me 4 months to find somewhere else to live. I have 4 months to make enough money to be able to live on my own... Which, considering I make a laughable amount of money, is next to impossible.... I wanted and tried desperately to make my life into something, but it seems like the entire damn universe is working against me at every turn. I don't know what else I could have done or could do.
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am glad you have found us here as many here have been in similar difficult situations before. While it is difficult and painful there are certainly options , just you may not be aware of all of them. To get advice that is actually helpful on how to resolve the immediate needs of the physical issues of needing a place to live and stuff like that can you tell us a little more about your situation? If you do not want to write on the boards then feel free to private message me and I would be happy to lend some suggestions on solving that issue or helping you to make a plan to solve that issue. The basic physical needs issues are usually the easiest to solve though, so continue to talk to us about the problems to get the morale support to get the motivation to try to fix those things as well....
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Im totally in total agreement with nyjumpmaster. You are no longer alone, we can give you the moral support you need. I know it's tough and world is sinking around you. You are important and remember that. You are among a very supportive group here.
  4. MildCat

    MildCat Member

    I guess I should start with my family. My mom has been constantly deployed with the military since I was 6. My parents got divorced when I was 10, and my dad got full custody if my brother and I. When I was 11, my mother was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease (which is basically a slow, cruel death sentence and I'm still not sure if I have it). About 2 years ago, my dad met a woman. She and her two kids moved in with us after dating for two months. She didn't like me because I'm quiet and keep to myself, so my dad called his sister and said that I was making them all uncomfortable by staying in my room most of the day. My dad and I have always had a rocky relationship, but that was completely out of the blue. I've lived with her ever since. It was really great at first, but I quickly realized that being understanding is not one of her strong suits. There have been countless times where she blew up at me for something I didn't do, or something she thinks that I did. Because of that, I've given up on defending myself or trying to tell my side of a situation. She doesn't understand depression or anxiety or that sometimes I'm too tired to hold conversations, despite these last two years being difficult ones. A couple of days ago, she gave me until the end of July to find a new place to live.... I don't know what I'm going to do.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Can you tell us where you live what country state so others that live there can give you information you can use to help you find suitable housing etc
    Can you not talk to your father about what is happening you are still his son and he should care about you sorry things are so difficult right now
  6. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    MildCat, you have an awful lot on your plate right now. I am really touched by your situation - I've faced homelessness, rejection and dying parents myself and know how hard it is. Please don't lose faith in yourself, even though I know it is easier said than done. People here do care about you.

    If you are in the US, is 211 available in your area? This is a free information service that can give you the numbers of organizations in your area that can help with things like housing, hotlines and social services.

    Take care and best of luck.
  7. MildCat

    MildCat Member


    I live in Central Texas. As far as I know, my town doesn't have housing or anything. I would probably have to travel for an hour or two to get to a city that does. I don't have a problem with that, but the thought of moving to a city that I'm not familiar with, by myself terrifies me... I guess I won't really have a choice though.

    And my father really doesn't care what happens to me. He only wants to talk to me to ask when I'm going to college, when I obviously can't afford to go.... And call me stubborn, but I refuse to take out student loans. Spending/owing money I don't have, that I won't be able to pay back for quite some time, seems like it will only get me into more trouble down the line.
  8. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is an investment in future and while often backfires if you do not finish school is the only way 98% of people manage an education to have reasonable chance of employment adequate to ever get much above the poverty line. It also solves housing and food issues for the majority of the time for 4 years. Really should talk to your High school guidance counselor or the community college financial aide counselor more about it at the least. so far as "free housing" your age and no kids will be lucky to get anything besides a shelter. So need to look at getting a job (which if you are not going to college is the only other option anyway). You can save up a lot of money between now and July even with 15-20 hours a week on minimum wage since you do not pay rent, utilities or food right now. 15 hours a week will still be taking home near $100/ week and that would be over $1400 saved- enough to pay half a security deposit and months rent to get started with a room mate someplace. If no plans or further schooling then looking at fast food and retail for minimum wage jobs is where to start and then work way up over time or hope to get into manufacture / blue collar at some point in future, so starting there now will have you ready by July.
  9. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Join the Air Force.

    Unless youre on a full scholarship, getting in debt for college is a waste of time and a money pit if you have no direction. Youre right to avoid it in this circumstance because you cant afford it. A college education not a good investment if you have no idea how you plan to use it.

    Your other option is to join the service in the Air Force Academy. Check their website. If you want to learn a trade while having housing and meals, they'll provide all three, plus physical fitness and youll never be a soldier on the ground.

    Another option is to travel to someplace with a housing program for low income individuals. This is usually called Section 8 or Housing Choice Voucher program where the federal government subsidizes up to 67% or more of the market price for your rent depending on your income.

    Don't be afraid or ashamed to seek public assistance where available. It's better than being homeless and sleeping under a bridge being treated like worse than an animal, so take the help where you need it until you have more resources to be able to live independently.

    Do your research. You might have to take a second job. Two minumum wage jobs equals one manageable income if you can tolerate losing sleep and any semblance of a social life, which I doubt you have to worry about anyway.

    It's a shame how family can treat you worse than they'd treat a stray dog and throw you into the streets.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2015
  10. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    To follow up with what Prinnctopher's Belt says about Section 8 housing... it might take awhile to get this set up, so you might want to check this out now as there are often waiting lists. I am not sure if you need to move in order to take advantage of it since it is a voucher system.

    Here is the HUD link: http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/topics/housing_choice_voucher_program_section_8

    Back when I was facing homelessness, I looked into this and ended up subscribing to a site that sends me frequent emails with lots of info on public assistance for housing and jobs. Here is their email address: resources@helpwithsection8.org

    While moving to a larger unfamiliar city can be really scary, it can be a tremendous adventure as well.
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