almost over the edge...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sycotic_Sarah, Sep 27, 2007.

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  1. im not trying this for attention
    or anything
    im serious.

    i overdosed last night
    and i ate as much raw food as i could to make me be in alot of pain
    - worked.

    my mum got drunk last night, we argued she cried i cried she said im going into care and she wishes she never had me and im disobident and spiteful and selfish bitch and my sister just laughed at me and just didnt stick up for me at all she wos on mums side i started crying they both just... say 'get the fuck outta this room' and i run downstairs start crying get paracetamol overdose start crying more and just end up passing out on my bed.
    woke up just now my tummy hurts and i feel like im about to throw up.
    my head is hurting.
    i feel so weak.
    i dunno what to do.
    i feel so low now.
    so suicidal.
    i just...

    i wish i die soon
    very soon...
    i can barely talk properley
    barely type properley
    just feels like im slipping away already
    feel so ill...

    im really sorry everyone
    for everything ive done
    pain ive caused
    very sorry...
  2. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member


    Do you really want to die? Or do you want your family to reach out to you? I know both feelings BTW, and I'm better now. But sometimes if your family thinks you are being overly dramatic they start not to take you sucks I know. And it doesn NOT in any way mean that you should be more drastic with your attempts. What are THEY feeling about you? Maybe if you can understand what they are feeling about the situation then you can find a way to connect with them on a different level, you know? As I'm sure you know, what we say is not always (even rarely) what we actually feel. Maybe they think that it will help you if they do not indulge your suicidal feelings? It happens. What I DO know is that if you hurt yourself, they will forever be destroyed...especially your sis. :hug:
  3. no this isnt
    dont even know
    about how i am
    how i feel
    they say that stuff
    because of shit going on
    and lash out at me
    but that gives them no right
    im a child
    yeahi deserve it anyway

    i want to die
    have all my life
    far back as i remember...
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    How old are you? Is it possible for you to tell them to fuck off and then leave? Do you have another place to go stay or the means to just take off on your own for a bit?

    If you can, identify the pieces of your life that make you feel the worst and distance yourself from them temporarily.
  5. im fourteen
    it is posssible to tlelthem to fuck off
    but not leave
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    :hug: sarah. PM me if you want to talk...I know how hard it can be, but it can also get way better and I have faith in you to let it go and live a great life.
  7. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Well don't tell them to fuck off, that was my mistake in expressing myself. I meant it as a figure of speech, that you should ignore them.

    If you can, take yourself out of your home for as much time as possible. Be with friends, partake in recreational activity outside, do something extracurricular at school, anything at all to be away from the people that make you feel this way.


    Beware the repercussions of this, though. I was in a situation similar to yours when I was that age. If you learn to distance yourself from people and detach from events, you can become very adept at it...
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2007
  8. be with friends -
    aint got any.

    partake in activity -
    this area is full of druggies and bullies, i never go outside.

    do something at school -
    i go to a special needs school and we dont do anything realy 'extracurricular'...

    i dont take myslef outtahom ebecause i have anxiety and i will get panic attacks if i go outside either by myself or for a long time, paranoia starts to kick in aswell...

    well, the overdose appears to be causing me pain, goodie.
    now for it to kill me.
    or something to kill me
  9. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Sarah you know how much I care for you and Yes you do deserve as many good things as the next person does,I mean this and you know I'm alway's here for you.
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