I overdosed just a few weeks ago. I thought this time I would succeed, but I failed. I woke up in the hospital so angry. Today I'm on the fence about wanting to hurt myself again. Overall looking in my life is fantastic, but inside I hold a lot of guilt for hurting those close to me physically and mentally. I want to change and have asked for help. I put myself in drug treatment. 5 months clean next week! I see a therapist weekly , I've been on meds (I'm bipolar II and BPD) consistently for 5 years and currently looking for help with my anger/domestic violence issues. I've been doing the foot work to get better. Something feels like it's missing though and I wonder if I'll ever be "normal." I wonder if this horrible cycle will ever end?