Almost there, but not quite

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by orangejulius, Mar 26, 2010.

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  1. orangejulius

    orangejulius Well-Known Member

    At the end of last year up to a little under a month ago I went through what I'd describe as the worst 3 months of my life. Severe depression, avoidance, constant thoughts of suicide; It was interesting to say the lease. One person in particular I met on the chat has helped me immensely over the past month, to the point that I'm nearly back to my normal, goofy self. It's sort of sad, but kind of good I suppose that I can't remember more than a couple days from the last 3+ months. It's all a blur.

    Just one thing has stayed unfortunately, the thoughts of suicide. Whereas it seems everything else has subsided or become considerably easier to deal with, I still continue to think of what led me to this point. I then feel worthless and want to kill myself. What is different now is that I no longer cry or lose control, I just go blank. I'd call it, "casual thoughts of suicide;" almost like I see it as a totally valid action.

    I've been wondering if anyone else has had these issues, and if so, what they do to relieve them. Suggestions are much appreciated.

    Thank you all for helping me so much!
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I think I go through something similar too in the the thoughts come to mind from time to time to...but it seems it has always been that way for me.
    I counteract it by telling myself in my head "suicide is not an option" ..I talk back to it with a positive reply, if that makes sense.
    Congrats on all your progress, it will continue to get better this I know.

    Hugs Bambi
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