Almost there

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Half Zellet, Oct 5, 2007.

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  1. Half Zellet

    Half Zellet Member

    Hello again, I am a new member here but just for a few days. I dont think I should realy write what I am going to write as I dont want others to feel encouraged but if you dont mind I would like to be honest with someone.

    I am a coward, plain and simple. I am going to be gone on Sunday morning. Up untill yetserday evening I think I was looking for a reason to hold on a bit longer and was fooling myself into my choice of suicide. But my ex had seen were I had been looking online recently and asked me if I was going to kill myself, I think she read the whole "what to do if someone is thinking of suicide", and I told her no, I was just a bit intrested in what had been happening to Owen Willson and she bought it. And since that moment I fell great I know this is my path I have no doubt about it now. I still dont like the thought of leaving my loved ones behind, becuase I am fortunate enough not to be alone and do have lots of people how care for me, I just dont belong here. I have left notes for everyone for themselves and a more general note for anyone else. I think I will commit this act outside in a secluded spot as I dont want to put anyone through the missery of finding my body.

    Like I said before I am not encouraging this act and think life is agreat gift, but its not for me. All of thoses who are here stay here, get help from these great people and remember that everyone has someone how loves them.

    Thanks for reading this, it helps to tell people how dont know me or judge.
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey there, is there anything in particular that is making you feel suicidal? You admit you have people around who love and care for you, have you tried talking to anyone about how you're feeling? Times like this we need support, I do suggest you speak to someone, whether it be a friend/relative or a doctor. Depression is a difficult illness to fight on our own and you don't need to be on your own. Stick around, I know you've been waiting for a while now but continue to do so, don't give up. Give this site a go too, now you're here I'd like to know a bit more about you. Take care of yourself.
  3. npain42long

    npain42long Active Member

    i hate to hear that you are at this point in your life. you mentioned that you have an ex who noticed what site you were on, is she part of your problem? i would love for you to message me and let's talk. no i won't try to tell crazy stuff but i would like to know why you are heading down this path and maybe in the end me and oyu can choose a different one. you see, i too often feel as if i do not belong here. what a painful process living is. and sometimes that pain is too much and i start trying to figure ways to end the pain. although it is not a daily thing, it is definitely a weekly thing.
  4. joyless56

    joyless56 Member


    Dunno if there are kids involved - and I mean ANY kids - yours, nephews, nieces, etc.. The downside of suicide - except for the one who does it - is the effect it has on the kids...even young adults. They think it is a solution. And while you know what you are solving...and how it is otherwise are likely to think it is a solution to more minor breaking up with their bf/gf, failing a test...flunking out of university..or maybe even a bad hair day.

    See, my mother hung herself. I've struggled all my life not to think of suicide as a 'solution'. If she hadn't done it, I may not have ever considered it.

    Some legacy, huh?
  5. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Hello friend. We are all here to listen in case U need to talk. Feel free to tell us what is bothering U so greatly to put U into this state of mind. Have U gotten to see a counselor or a psychiatrist? Please talk with us.
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