Alone. Abusive Ex, alienated child.

[DidiTreize]

Hello!
I am here because I'm all alone. I'm supposed to have my son for half of every day, but my ex takes him from me as much as he can, because he knows I have nobody else, and he LIVES to hurt me, haha! Lovely fellow, eh?

He took him away for six weeks to a trip to Europe recently. That was great, and my son had a blast... and I coped! My online friends were very good at checking in on me and did their best to keep my spirits up, and I did my best to be plucky!

But I wasn't expecting him to take him away just three days later, for three days.... then what's next? Will he take him away every other three days now? We're supposed to share 50/50 custody, so this isn't fair. I can't even write him a letter saying so, as he's forbidden me to contact him, mainly because he gets angry with me and by email, there's a record, which he doesn't want. But because I've been forbidden, I can't contact him (however reasonably) or risk him siccing one of his lawyer friends on me!

I suppose I shouldn't post in a depression forum, maybe I should try to find a lawyer, but with my business so slow I cannot afford one!!

I have only one local friend and she has problems of her own, as well she is quite elderly. I cannot lean on her. Everyone has their own problems, and I've complained enough to her already.

I thought of calling a hotline, but I don't really have anything here to kill myself with, so I'm not in immediate danger, and I don't want to take up the resources when someone who REALLY needs help NOW might need it.

My mother is not in this country, and historically she has not been very emotionally supportive of me anyhow. So I can't call her, and probably wouldn't, anyway.

Well, FWIW, here I am, haha.
Didi

 

[total eclipse]

Hi Didi i hope you can get some legal help Make sure you document each time this happens ok when he takes your son and for how long He is breaching court rules here and no matter what his lawyer friend says he cannot do this. Please set up boundaries ok don't let this continue For you and your sons sake

 

[FrainBart]

Hey, welcome to SF. I am sorry that you have found your way here, and it sounds like you are in some sticky situations regarding your ex. If you could share where you are - location wise - I will try ad find some info for you on how to proceed to set some boundaries up so that you will have your son with you for what you agreed you should have.

I do hope that your ex grows a pair and stops being such an ass, because its rather unfair the way he is treating you.

 

[Freya]

Hi Didi

I am not sure what country you are in, but I do know that the UK and the US at least have quite a few free legal advice services for this kind of thing.

You say you are forbidden to contact him - is that an official restraining order or is it just his say so? If it is the former then I would imagine there must be a liaison in place to deal with child issues as it would be unreasonable to expect a 50/50 custody arrangement to work with no contact. If it is the latter then he can go jump - he has no right to forbid you to do anything.

Is the custody arrangement an official one? If it isn't, you need to look at getting an official arrangement in place. That way, when he takes your son away for 6 weeks, you are entitled to an unbroken 6 weeks as well. If he isn't prepared to be reasonable and communicate, use the systems in place to deal with these things so he is forced to be reasonable.

If you let me know what country you are in, either here or PM, I can likely send you some links for where to start looking for advice and help. :hug: