Alone.... again.... and hurting.... again :(

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by TaraJo, Oct 20, 2009.

  1. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    It always seems to happen with me; I'm always alone.

    I had met a girl who made me incredibly happy. I always felt so safe when she was holding me and when she looked at me and told me she loved me, I felt so wonderful.

    But, I had to go and do something stupid. Short answer, I talk too much. So she broke up with me and...... it hurts.

    I know part of the reason it hurts is because I have borderline personality disorder and I have pretty bad abandonment issues stemming from that. But.... I don't feel like I have anyone I'm really close to who can help. And I'm hurting....

    I'm cutting again. I only had an old, dull knife handy so it wasn't much cutting (scratches with very little blood). I want a new blade; one that is sharper and will draw blood. Something about seeing blood makes me feel better.

    And.... I'm hurting. Over this, partially because it's a patern for me. I feel like I don't get happiness. And.... I'm contimplating suicide again. I already know two ways I could do it and I'm honestly thinking of checking out on Wendesday..... I just don't want to hurt and I feel like I've tried everything else to stop the pain
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sorry your heart is aching it will take awhile but you will get over it In the meantime try to get out and meet new people a new girl who will accept you for who you are This time it just was not meant to be but there are other chances out there just have to go find them take care