I have lost another friend today, and i don't think there is potential in repairing the relationship. I can't carry out my normal activities, I can't function without breaking down in tears. My parents have noticed, but i can't tell them what's wrong. They wouldn't approve of having an online friendship to begin with. I am so angry, and i just don't know what to do anymore. I want to die. I've been alone my entire life, and i just can't take it. I don't want these feelings to continue. I hate this loneliness, feeling isolated in my struggle for survival. I'm trying to fix my life, but my effort is fruitless. I have to get through my driving lessons tonight and art class tomorrow. I would like to make some friends in these small windows of opportunity, but i don't know if i can handle it, with feeling so down. I am contemplating suicide, but so far have not acted on my feelings, so that's a positive. But my violent images and thoughts are making me tired and weak.