Alone and abandoned and in crisis

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by bipolarkitty, Feb 2, 2010.

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  1. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    I'm having a very hard time right now. Have been for a few months now, but these past couple of weeks are really bad. My entire support system has failed me and I feel so alone and abandoned. :(

    I have 7 days to go until I see my therapist again. I haven't seen her since Jan. 19th and haven't been in the group I'm in that she runs since Jan 21st. The first week I was out of state visiting a friend and the day I got back home, my therapist went out of town, so group (that I would have been able to go to) was canceled. She was supposed to be back at work today, but now she'll be gone the whole week. So both my individual session with her plus the group have both been canceled for this week. I'm very scared that with the luck I've been having lately that she'll be gone even longer.

    7 days feels like an eternity from now. I'm seriously having trouble trying to find things to distract myself and occupy my time. Nothing appeals to me right now.

    I've thought about seeing one of her backup therapists that are in place for when she's gone and a client of hers is in crisis, which I am. But what good would it do? It won't ease this pain and I don't feel important enough to justify them squeezing me into their already tight schedules. Besides, I'm afraid they'll just say "Well, if you're having such a hard time that you need to come in to see one of us, then you need to be in the hospital".

    I don't want to go to the hospital. I'm not suicidal. I've got major self injury urges, but I'm not actually suicidal. I'm just very very VERY uncomfortable and miserable. So what good could they actually do for me? *sigh*

    I don't know what to say anymore. Nothing seems to help, other than talking with MY therapist. No one else. She's the only one who gets me. Who knows the whole story. The only one I trust.

    I guess I'll go write in my journal. Maybe that will help. Either that or find some other distraction.
  2. Littlewiji

    Littlewiji Well-Known Member

    Play peggle. No jokes, that game will keep you occupied for a fair bit. Any addictive game will do, but in my experience simple stuff is best, like civ 4, N, that kinda stuff. If you need a distraction, a couple good PC games should suffice.

    Just try to avoid things which require too much thinking. I dunno if I can say anything else useful.
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation where you can't talk to your own therapist. I've been through a few of those myself.

    Distractions are good, but if you need to get stuff out of your head, you can always post here. Please don't hesitate to post when you need to.

    Sometimes, I just have to call a crisis line. Sometimes, it's just a human voice that is helpful.

    I've said a prayer for you and I hope you get to feeling better. :hug:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just phone make an appt with back up therapist do it. You are as important as anyone your issues are just as important. That is why she has a back up therapist. It will help it will allow you to be heard and get the thougth out of your head. If you can get the help take it don't struggle any more okay. Call and see if you can get in with back up therapist you are just as important as anyone take care
  5. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    my therapist has been on vacation for weeks now, and it is damn hard, i miss him like crazy, and yes, he has a back up for emergencies, but I also dont want to call his back up, so i know what you are saying. I hate feeling abandoned by my therapist, it sucks, but you can get through it, and your therapist WILL be back. Its hard to form a bond with someone, trust them and then not have them around when you need them, but it is part of the therapy process to be able to tolerate those feelings and manage the anxiety, think of it more like an experiment, challenge yourself to take care of yourself during this time period and see how it goes.....
  6. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we are all here for you, my friend
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