alone and devastated in a foreign country

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jcd, Aug 20, 2016.

  1. jcd

    jcd New Member

    i apologize in advance if my post turns out to be too long. thanks for reading

    i'm american but live in eastern europe. i've been here for about two years now. for 1 and a half of those, i was with a wonderful girl. i was in heaven. for the first time in my life (i'm 32) i thought about getting married and having children. she was it for me. it was (is) a love like i've never experienced.

    this summer i was in the US for a total of about 10 weeks. we would talk every single day. we would have silly arguments from time to time. they took a toll on her. she's a very sensitive person and she had a very difficult time with the distance and arguments. on the day i was supposed to fly back to my current country, she kind of sprung it on me that she wasn't sure if she could continue with our relationship. i became upset and told her i wasnt coming. i immediately regretted it. within 24 hours i contacted her and told her i made a mistake. i was coming back because i belonged next to her and that's where i needed to be.

    i buy my ticket for 2 weeks after my lost flight. i contacted her to let her know a few days before my new flight. she informs me that she's moving out. i felt like my heart exploded. i asked her not to but she wasnt having it. told me not to contact her and that she wanted nothing to do with me. i had an awful flight here. i was stupidly hoping she'd be at the airport. ofc not. i came to what was once our apartment only to find it completely empty. no trace of any of her things. i was devastated. my soulmate had left me and now i was stuck in what was our shared space. she won't see me. she blocked me on facebook. i came back pretty much for her. i work here, but she's the main reason i'm back. i don't speak the language. i have no friends here. i have no support system. i feel completely abandoned. i feel subhuman. today i was thinking about how much i'd like a hug. it's been the worst 11 days of my life and i dont see it getting better. i feel like i'm at the end of the line. i'm in hell and i lost the one bright spot in my future
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi jcd and welcome to SF. Long distance relationships are one of the most difficult things to do and most of them just dont last. There are just so many traps and pitfalls to avoid. If you do manage to navigate a path, there is always the distance factor which seperates you both. That is something you just cant ignore.

    If she is not prepared to have any contact with you, then you have little choice but to respect her wishes, no matter how strong your own feelings are. If you are working there and its likely to be long term, then maybe you can use your time to start learning some of the language and building a little support system of your own. If nothing else it will be a distraction from the heartache you now feel.

    I would hazard a guess that she did not have the strength of feeling that you have about the relationship and was prepared to let it go and not fight for what you had. The hardest part will be accepting that. I really am sorry its ended the way it has, but I just dont see a way that you can resurrect the relationship without any form of contact.

    Time my friend really is a healer and slowly, you will start to feel differently about it all.
    moxman likes this.
  3. Ghost63

    Ghost63 Member


    I am so sorry for the loss you must feel. And being in a far off land without a support system must make it that much harder. Im glad you at least found this forum. I hope that you are able to take action to ease the pain as much as you can. And know that you are not alone. On this site, there are many kindred spirits, and maybe we can each lend a bit of support for each others' struggles.
  4. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    Hello JCD, I am Mox

    Hello and thank you for joining us at SF. Thank you for sharing your story with us. The more you share the more we can help you. I invite you to read my personal story below in green. Just know you are not alone in your pain and suffering. Everyone here is battling his/her own demons. You are among friends. No one will ever insult you or ridicule you for any reason; that BS is not tolerated here. We will give you emotional support and lots of hugs. If you are feeling like you are going to hurt yourself that you will take yourself to the nearest ER and get the help you need. The help you deserve. We want you to be SAFE. If you are having a bad day or if you are upset do not hesitate to reach out to someone here at SF and we will help you the best way we can.

    Maybe you should learn the local language since you are going to be there for a while. Then hopefully you can start making friends and have some kind of support system in place to help you feel better. I would definitely recommend seeing a counselor to help heal your broken heart.

    Take Care