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Alone and Feeling Low

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brokenandlonely, Apr 29, 2008.

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  1. brokenandlonely

    brokenandlonely Well-Known Member

    I have been lurking on this website for a while and reading the many posts that are posted here in search of some advice or help of a situation that might be posted that is similar to mine.

    I am 23 year old male trying so hard to hold on to something even anything to make it through the day. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember and have had anxiety also with situations that are not comfortable to me worrying so much that it has made me ill. In a situation that are not comforting I have felt and have thought of the very worst that can occur as a possible outcome. I am almost finishing school and have a job in the field that I am studying which is computers. I used to have such a passion in listening to music and watching movies on my free time but as of late that doesn't even seem to have an interest for me. During the day when I am not at work, I am usually on the computer or laying in bed and watching movie(because I have no energy to do anything else). I am alone and haven't had friends in a while, I do have acquaintances like everyone else has but that's about it. Most of the time when I am in my room, I feel alone and unloved. My relationship with my parents has not been good and we have had arguments and I don't think they understand completely on how I feel. I have tried to explain to them about how depressed I am, that I'm not happy and I can honestly say that I don't remember the last time I have really laughed and was in a good mood and had the pleasure of going out and enjoying and having a good time. I am really lost on what I should do, I have had suicidal thoughts for a couple of years that there hasn't been a day that I can remember not thinking about how I want it to end and of suicide. The motivation that was once there a 10 years ago isn't there and the excitement for activities that I once enjoyed has left as well. Now everything just seems to be a pain and a total blur.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun for what it is worth, you are not alone. You have a wonderful community of people here that care and understand exactly how you feel. Keep reading the posts and posting yourself. It does help a little. It makes you feel like you do belong somewhere in this huge planet. Try getting to a support group. Another terrific place to be where others understand you and really care. They can also get you information and resources on how to start getting help for yourself. Maybe once you start, your parents will see how serious this really is. Unfortunately parents sometimes think that turning a deaf ear to things will mean that they aren't real, and that's a way of coping. Not saying it's right, but it happens. So now it's time for you to scream in that ear. If you need someone to talk to our even do some yelling, I'm here and more than happy to listen. PM anytime.
  3. A_Loser

    A_Loser Well-Known Member

    You sound like me, dude :(
    even your nick would fit me perfectly :mellow:

    Yeah, thats about all i have to say:sad:
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...what you write about is quite common here, unfortunately...have you spoken to a professional about how you are feeling and your loss of attachment to what you are doing? please do so if you have not...you deserve to enjoy this phase of your career, and your life in general...big hugs
  5. brokenandlonely

    brokenandlonely Well-Known Member

    thank you for your response and for the welcome. I appreciate being able to write about how I feel deep down and having the let go of what I have had stored up inside. From looking around on this site, I have to agree that this looks to be a wonderful group of people that are here for each other whenever help is needed or just to chat. From writing a post and breaking the surface of the ice I think it might be just what I need. From reading posts and saying to myself, that's just like myself makes me feel like I am not the only one with Depression and problems that are similar to mine. To be honest I have just recently considered that my long-time undiagnosed depression, anxiety, low self-asteem and OCD are not getting any better and professional help is definitely needed which might be a good idea for a support group and being able to talk about our emotions and how we feel. In my household, it has always been frowned upon to talk about how we feel or what is bothering us when it comes to my case because my parents automatically think I'm crazy or I'm acting up again. I have let them know that I want to see a psychologist or the help of a professional which might be the case that I would be put on medication. But as you mentioned they have turned the deaf-ear and that I am just acting out to seek attention especially when I self-injure which has become a problem because I don't do it for attention and when I'm depressed/upset or even angry it just becomes like a ritual =( Thanks for listening once again and being here if I ever need a talk. Do you have MSN or AIM?
  6. brokenandlonely

    brokenandlonely Well-Known Member

    Sadeyes, thank you so much for the welcome. I have from what I read on here as we know suicide and depression seems to be the common issue amongst all of us. I have had undiagnosed anxiety, depression and OCD for a number of years and gradually it has really affected my life negatively and has taken the pleasure out of it completely sad to say. I haven't spoken to a professional but have lately considered going to a psych and talking over and maybe airing out how I feel which might help a little bit and any insight he can give me to fix what is broken is really needed. At one point, I was going through the whole thinking of I'm just going to go there and waste his time and he probably will not be able to help me and give up which is what it seemed to be the case since my parents haven't been supportive. It seems like everytime I try to be happy it gets cut down immediately with something that is said or done to affect it and I go back to being depressed and feeling low. I am trying to motivate myself and stay strong in order to go get any help that is needed to be able to enjoy the many years that I am hoping to have ahead of me. Thanks once again **hugs back**
  7. kpmth3

    kpmth3 Member


    you are not alone. life was so much more fun when you are younger, like in the teens (am 21). but now, it is just a struggle to get by each day. sometimes you have so much anxiety that you are scared to sleep because the next day is just another stressful moment to come. actually, that is why i was able to read this thread, because i am too scared of tomorrow.

    i took paxil and prozac to help my depression and anxiety symptoms. i think i told my dad that i was taking medication, and nothing came of it. my parents don't really discuss anything about psychological issues, since i believe that they don't want a problem child. recently, my mother seemed convinced that i wasn't normal, and that perhaps i should see a doctor, but nothing came of that as of yet. i am a 2nd generation Korean, and my parents are immigrants so our thoughts and beliefs are completely different, making it even more difficult to communicate. it's tough...really tough. so tough that you want to a) run away b) suicide. Choice b is not the answer! but perhaps a toned down version of choice a is in order. find an escape, and find out what you are escaping from. maybe that is the source of your problems.

    anyways, try to push yourself little by little into doing new things. question yourself why you think you are unhappy and what is stopping you from being who you want to be. you're not alone! let's get through this together!
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2008
  8. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    many of us share the same problems here, we all suffer and we all want to be understood, to know we are not alone.
    but to suffer in silence is not healthy, go out and seek the help you need, make people listen so you can start to rebuild your life and regain that self that has been missing.

    one day at a time mate
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