Hello. Have you ever felt like no matter what you do or say it is the wrong thing? That would be me. I am not sure what I have done so wrong in my life that I am not accepted anywhere. I am married and I have 3 kids, but I feel as though I have failed them as a mother and wife. I do have suicidal tendencies and have even tried before. 99% of the time I can hide my sadness by plastering a smile on my face and trying to make people smile. I would offer the shirt off my back if someone needed more then me. If someone needed help I would be there. I just feel that my family would be better off without me. Everything I have tried to do doesn't work. I think and dream every night about dying, both by my hand and by someone else's hand.