Alone and lost..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by needsomeone.., Jan 1, 2013.

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  1. needsomeone..

    needsomeone.. New Member

    I guess ill start by giving some background on the problems that I've dealt with that would drive me this close to suicide. I'm 18 years old and I've felt low and depressed for a long time. my brothers an alcoholic. I'm gay and my dad is an extreme homophobe. it all got a lot worse a little over a year ago. I was a senior in high school getting up everyday for the same shit school and part time job for what felt like no reason. I had a 6 month period from October to march where I thought about killing myself every single day, felt so terribly depressed everyday. it drove me to cut myself which was really reckless on my part but it didn't end that badly. I just hid it from everyone. I only had one real friend who stuck with me through that time. In mid march I finally listened to her and got help. I was in a program at a mental hospital and put on medication. Ever since then it has just been medication after medication and a diagnosis of clinical depression and a mood disorder. I'm on a mood stabilizer and an anti depressant along with an anti-anxiety medication. I've recently started smoking pot and its becoming an everyday thing for a while now. I just don't know what to do. my dad just says man up and take it on. I cant do that. I'm not strong enough. I want to overdose on my meds and just stop this joke of a life. or maybe just move on to harder drugs
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Using pot is interfering with the affects of the medication the doctor put you on hun. Pot is a inhibitor it makes you want to d o nothing and it makes you more depressed.
    talk to your doctor ok and try to get off the pot ok it is only making things worse
     
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