Alone... Angry... Scared

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RudyNr3, Jun 19, 2016.

  1. RudyNr3

    RudyNr3 New Member

    I'm in a very dark place right now.

    I am 23. My girlfriend, who i thought was my soul mate, have recently broken up. i am completely devastated by it. The worst part about it, i fucked up the relationship beyond all repair. I have sever anger issues. Hence my username. If anyone who is reading this in UK, it's a reference to the charterer Rudy from Misfits (TV series) In the program Rudy is split in to 3 versions of himself, Rudy 1, Rudy 2 & Rudy 3. Rudy 3 is a complete psychopath who has no control over his anger. It leads him to do very bad things to the people close around him. I feel like there is a part of me that is like this. My anger was what caused our relationship to end. It's probably the reason why i have no friends. And probably the reason why i am not very close with my family. Its destroyed past relationships too. I have been self harming regularly for about 2/3 weeks. I tried to commit suicide about a week ago. At the moment i am terrified.. I feel like the longer this goes on, the more i am going to hurt my self, or someone around me. When "Rudy 3" comes out i have not control over anything. It feels like i say and do stuff with out even thinking about it.

    I want help. I want to try and control this.. otherwise im going to hurt myself beyond repair. Or worse, hurt someone around me.

    Please help :(

    Rudy 3..
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi rudy. You really need to seek professional help and get anger management help. I am sorry your relationship broke down but maybe in time when you get help you can get back together again. It's not going to be easy at all, but you NEED professional help and soon. Please reach out for it, there are services which can help you and I hope you can get beyond this point in your life and look back on it and say ''why the hell was i so angry'' lol be good and kind to youself, we are here for you too! :)
  3. RudyNr3

    RudyNr3 New Member

    I don't know who or how too seek professional help :/
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Go to your general doctor, explain your issues and see what they say, they will probably refer you to someone else, thats all it takes, one visit and you have made a step in the right direction.