alone for thanksgiving

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ckeppa, Nov 27, 2008.

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  1. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    and its my fault.
    i had the option to spend thanksgiving with my family in geogia but i told them i couldnt make it cause of work...im off tommarow. i used to be such a happy person, i met a girl. fell hard and hit my face, i did some bad drugs. got addicted, and now just being around people piss me off, i get mad or Severly depressed around friends and family. i Did have depression issues befor the girl and drugs, but natually they didnt help...its made me scared to even visit my family, i dont want to ruin anyones thanksgiving with my soby ass...so im alone for thanksgiving. i want to kill myself because i know my failing, lonly life is because of me. ive been happier latly but i know sitting on the couch tommarow and prolly the following holidays alone is goin to remind me how pathetic ive become and everything ive lost. and it hurts so bad. so fucking bad. i think id be more confident and happy if i could find somebody to get that girl out of my head. buts its been a year and she is still in every dream and id say every 1 and 5 thoughts...it almost brings me to tears everytime but its not something that can happen again and ive tried a couple of different flings but she's still there. im going crazy...
     
  2. breaking

    breaking Active Member

    Im sorry Cheppka .. i know how you feel .. I'm alone too .. always have been .. every holiday. And tonight i found out my old manager is engaged. I instroduced her to her now fiance. And me .. i've been divorced for 6 yrs .. met a guy who swept me off my feet, then he face planted me into reality wyen he left me for some older woman and said let's just be friends. WTF .. yea, i was not worth it .. so i'm here drinking . i didn't used to be thsi way .. i used to be happy
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Ckeppa,
    I know how being hung up on drugs go. I was a pothead for years and throw some acid in there And I was wasted all the time. I quit cold turkey several years ago. Then my neice got me hooked smoking pot again. Then she quit getting it for me and narced me out to her mom. Needless to say I have nothing to do with her anymore. As far as I am concerned she doesn't exist anymore.
    If you miss your family why don't you go to the emergency room and ask them about any dual diagnosis programs that might be in your area.
    As far as your ex goes, you need to let go especially if it's been a year. You can't do anything about the past, and I am sure your other is out there searching for you. You need to get out and show you are still in the game.
    You don't want to be an old fart like me who has no relationship, and has decided that is fine with me. (Trust Issues).Take Care!~Joseph~
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Maybe you can share your Thanksgiving with someone anyway. Can you tell your family you changed your mind? I am sure they would welcome you.
     
  5. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    thank you for the post!
    and i wish i could get over her. ive tried so damn hard, its not like i want her in my head, she just pops in there from time to time. and everything around me reminds me of her. its been so long and i feel so pathetic for still missing her. the only way ive been able to cope is Being high, all the time. and it makes me feel even more pathetic sitting on a couch baked all day. who wants to get with a pothead? weed def isnt a big deal and is a great coping drug. but shouldnt be a lifestyle and after a couple of hours it just makes it worse. and its costing me 60 bucks every 2 days haaha. im sorry you guys have to share the thanksgiving lonlyness, your always welcome here! haha
    :starwars:
    this site has the best smilies ha
     
  6. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    I'm alone today too. My family lives in New England and I live in California. No money to fly home and I just became unemployed. Everyone I know out here has got plans that don't include me. I'm extremely lonely. I wish I was still drinking.

    Well, maybe we can try to find a little pleasure in little things.
     
  7. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend


    Ckeppa i support what gentlelady has suggested you. Call your family and say that you got a last minute acceptance for a leave from work so you can be there. Being a parent, it would be the most beautiful gift given. Pick up the phone and call hun

    granny xx
     
  8. ckeppa

    ckeppa Active Member

    im sorry to hear that darn, and i wish i could drink to, a year young :(
    and its to late to call, it would of have to been a mornin call er last night, but i woke up at noon today, its a 3 hour drive, to late to save thanksgivin ;p

    but thats ok, went out and treated myself to a nice place and some new toys, so im stuffed and satisfied i guess :wink:
     
  9. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Hey cleppa, howzitgoin. Ya, the holidays sukk. I'm just alone, listenin to tunes. Think I'll play my clockwork orange soundtrack.
     
  10. DarnTired

    DarnTired Antiquitie's Friend

    Wow, that's a coincidence. I just picked up a copy of the clockwork orange soundtrack last week!
     
  11. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Isn't it beautiful?
     
  12. wunderwood

    wunderwood Well-Known Member

    hey there. I'm alone for tg too. it sucks, though i forced myself to call my parents to say hi. i live over 3000 miles away and i thought it would be fine. but i've missed to boringness of my family.

    right now i am drinking. i understand the need to escape
     
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