Alone in a swarm of perfect people? (Any fellow Indians here?)

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheBLA, Jun 4, 2008.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I was wondering who here is suffering from depression, thoughts of suicide, etc. and is surrounded by everyone who is perfect and normal and you are the only one suffering and feel so frustrated?

    I am Indian myself and as many know, Indians place high priority on academics, getting a good job, etc. It sounds good but not for me when I am surrounded by everyone else (all Indians) who are very happy, better than me in grades, everything actually.

    My brother and his friends just graduated from high school (they are 17/18, I am 21) and I will be going to their parties this month. They will all be so happy, so full of life, full of dreams and ambition and all that crap, like NORMAL POEPLE. Whereas I am the exact opposite of them.

    I stick out like an extremely sore thumb, especially with me having depression and thinking of suicide. I know that everyone regardless of race, ethnicity, weath, etc. suffers from depression, but it seems its much less acknowledged in Asian communities, its more taboo, more to be ashamed of, more hidden.

    I know there are many Indians (Indian and Indian American like me) that have depression, thoughts of suicide and have committed suicide, but none I know of. In fact, I've even been surprised hearing stories of some Indian Americans that have committed suicide.

    I feel very alienated obviously. :sad:

    I know that many look perfect on the outside but are probably deeply suffering inside, I don't see them much so if they are suffering (probably not!) , all I see is their happy side.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 4, 2008
  2. Rahul, you will not achieve anything by comparing yourself to others, either they are your peers or your next of kin or the 'whites' or the afro-americans or whoever. We are who we are and if you keep comparing yourself to others, you will always find someone better than you, nicer, cuter, more popular etc than you in this life. Be happy with what you are and make the best with what you have and be proud of who you are and of your achievements whatever they may be.

    90% if nor more people put up a front never showing their true feelings. 'Keep up the appearance' is a must in society. How wrong but we cant change it. Be yourself and you will be much happier than spending a lifetime pretending to be soemthing you are not just to be a sheep like reproduction of this society keeping up the appearance as expected by the mass.

    Btw not many on the american continent (aprt from emigrating later on in time) can vent themself from not having native blood in their dna. Be proud of who you are, and make the best of what you've got and search your way, the way that will lead you to realizatio of the self and happiness.

    A friend
     
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :agreed:!
     
  4. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your post " Eagle in the wind". I know what you say is true.

    But its still hard when you seem like your at the bottom of the totem pole. In the middle, you can say some are better than me, but I am better than some as well. I feel that everyone is better than me, maybe I'm not, maybe its the depression talking.

    I feel like I sound very whiny and pathetic on these forums, I'm sorry and I feel that some here are annoyed and frustrated with me. :unsure:
     
  5. An impression of yours, a perception you get from your own fuzzy vison due to the depression dark sunny glasses we wear in such times. Once you'll be able to take them
    off you will see more clearly things around and find your rightfullness place and see that
    you fit in just fine.

    As to the totem, each made its own. A totem can be the symbol of a tribe, clan, family or individual. Have you chosen your own inspirational (animal) guide? Though people may identify with different animal guides throughout their lifetimes, it is this one totem animal that acts as the main guardian spirit. I'd suggest you return to your roots and start from there. If you need guidance, ask the elders of the village.

    Rahul reflect on these :

    Walk lightly in the spring; Mother Earth is pregnant. - Kiowa

    When a man moves away from nature his heart becomes hard. - Lakota

    Peace to you

    Eagle in the wind
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Oh, I wanted to say that I am Indian (from India), not Indian as in Native American. I think that is what you thought I was, the latter?
     
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :hug: I see that it's 2 different nationalities, but in general, it comes down to this: People are people. Don't waste your time trying to beat people in society status' and material possessions. Find what makes YOU happy in life, not what appearances make OTHERS happy.
     
  8. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Right, I was just confused by the references to the totem pole and animal spirits and realized he mistook my ethnicity, no problem.

    Carolyn, you speak the truth, its 100% correct but of course easier said than done. Its hard when your fellow Indian peers are so much better than you and you have high expectations placed upon you which you fail to live up to. Its mostly my fault though for being so sheltered and closed in and my addiction to the computer and video games. :unsure:
     
  9. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I hope I didn't come across as I was lecturing and/or anything like that. I was just trying to help. And, what you said is true, so much in life is easier said than done, absolutely true. We just have to try to find our direction and work our best at whichever direction we choose. :smile: :hug:
     
  10. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    Hey there Rahul I am half Indian and half Kenyan. I too suffer from depression but I don't think nationality matters its all whats on the inside that counts. But yeah I know what you mean when I told my mum how I was feeling a few years ago (she's Indian) she was shocked and kinda wrote it off and was ashamed of me for taking medication but then after a while she got used to the fact of it now we are all ok I guess lol. Just keep your head up things will start to pick up if you ever feel lonely or alienated just pm me or contact me through IM good luck and I hope you feel better.
     
  11. "I know there are many Indians (Indian and Indian American like me)"

    Sorry to have misinterpreted the 'indian american like me' as being native american.

    My apology.

    May you find your place in this world based on your own value not in comparison to others
    or to some expectations of some kind or to prove something to someone.

    Carolyn is right. " Find what makes YOU happy in life, not what appearances make OTHERS happy."

    I'll just add (family included).

    Each has different potential and skills that will allow you to realize yourself in an unique way.

    This eagle must fly in the wind now. Birds are made to be free.
    Peace to you Rahul
     
  12. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    They aren't happy trust me :dry: I don't know about 'deeply suffering' either but as for happy, I don't know.........how do we know that? What's real from the show they feel they have to put on?

    All the things you mention are rituals you feel alienated from, which is understandable seeing as you grew up with people you mention all around you. So you feel different or worthless when you can't do what they do.

    But they aren't perfect or happy. You don't know what's going on under their highly anxious front to do this/that/the other, and you get it everywhere not only with the type of people you mention (who've I've been around and who bug me no end)
     
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