My daughter just started college. She was the only one at home that I could talk to. I have 3 more children 13, 11, and 7, and one on the way. My husband rarely talks to me about emotional things, and when he found out that I had tried to commit suicide he just got mad at me and then he offered to help me to do it. My daughter who is 18 always has a way of cheering me up when I feel down. Now I just feel alone in my own head and that scares me. Because I know what I am capable of. I don’t want to die, but I also know that on some days the feeling to kill myself is almost unbearable. And one day I am afraid I will succeed, even though I know things have a habit of turning around and improving, but on those days I can’t see it. On those days, nothing matters, and I cannot see where they ever will improve. Theses feeling I can’t control, and I am afraid they will eventually consume me.