Alone in the dark

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by reefer madness, Jul 24, 2007.

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  1. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I don't really know how to write poetry properly and I'm not very good at expressing myself, but I'm going to post a poem I just wrote anyways. Feel free to critique.

    Alone is a terrible place to be
    Thoughts of despair overwhelm
    Cold steel barrel pressed to your temple
    Wanting for a life without pain
    Wishing that somebody will notice
    Praying that God will help
    Nobody does as nobody ever has
    Hope is lost that anybody cares
    Emptyness fills the heart
    Bleeding the love that once was
    Killing slowly from the inside
    Reality is cruel and distorted
    Pain has become unbearable
    Thoughts turn to silence
    Succumbing to the darkness
  2. Darkness N Light

    Darkness N Light Staff Alumni

    I think that you did a very good job writing this poem. It is deep and it does show some emotion. I think that you also did a good job on expressing yourself. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. If you ever need to talk feel free to send me a pm. Take care and I love you. :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss

    With Love,
    Crystal :hug: :cheekkiss
  3. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    theres no 'real' way to write poetry. I also think you did a good job here. If it expresses how you feel, then you have accomplished what you set out to do.
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