Alone in the end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shi, Jul 3, 2007.

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  1. Shi

    Shi Active Member

    Well I really have to write something down, otherwise I think I gonna..well.. it's so bad...

    I mean suicidal feelings and depression...nothing new to me. But at the moment...I am so down.... Today and the day before.. I was crying, not 24/7,but very often.I am shiffering and my stomach feels...it hurts so much...

    My mother always tells me that she thinks she would understand me,but once she is angry she makes fun out of my despair. I would just imagine things that ain't real, I should take it easy. I just hate her talking about it, how easy it was ,in a moment when I feel that pain will tear me apart. Very supportive huh?
    Sometimes I think I have to attempt suicide, just to show her how I feel.I don't think she would ever understand me.

    I am so alone. Psychologists, won't help me. It never worked out. More and more I get this feeling that I cannot live up to this anymore. Where is my strength?! They say to give up is no solution. I hate myself for the reason that I just cannot end it all, alltough I think of it everyday.I always wish that a car would hit me... I see no light, my only hope is that once I'll pass away, I will find a place, somewhere, where I can live in a way, that was never allowed to me on Earth.

    Maybe, it sounds very depressed, but at the moment I am so down, I cannot think of something else.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 3, 2007
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    :hug: I know how you feel with the whole "mother" thing. Eventually you have to stop listening to her and trying to prove how ill you are to her - If you have enough strength to want to prove how you feel to her, maybe you have enough to fight this illness a little. Don't forget that depression is an illness, it's not a part of you.
     
  3. U are so depressed!! ..
    I don't know what to say..should I told u nice words like: all will pass..everything'll change ...ur mother'll change... and all these words...
    Or should I told u a story that it's more depresed than urs ..and this how u can forget ur reality..I guess maybe the only way to forget ur real life is to hear the stories of the others more painful ..so here is it:
    I have so many problems with my mother..she can never understand me..
    the last time we have that situation..and she was so angry ..and i did do anything makes her angry ..and she just started to hit me..and now my body hurts me so much i can't sleep at night...i can't talk more it's so painful for me!!!!!
     
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