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Alone on this "special" day, can anyone relate?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HomerSimpson, Mar 28, 2008.

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  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    I usually just pass it off and think nothing of it, but today is my birthday and not a single person has said happy birthday. I ask myself what did I do to deserve this. I have nothing and no one. I run with a group of friends, and when I am with them I use to feel so great, but now it has got to the point that it hurts to be around them too much. I see them go off when we are done to there families, girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, and wives. and I go home alone to nothing and no one. I sit here crying and realizing just how alone I am. How do I go on, or more importantly why continue to go on. The reason will be "well you never know what will happen tomorrow", but for me I have been waiting for that tomorrow for at least 5 years. Am I to continue to wait and suffer the way I feel in hopes that something great finally happens. I go back to the people I run with and how they tell there kids and loved ones that they love them. I have never had that. That enjoyment I used to have being with them is now over shadowed by how empty and alone I feel with them. So what do I do? Why continue when there is nothing to continue for?
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Happy Birthday!

    I'm so sorry this day is bringing you down.

    One of the things I loved about NYC was that not everyone was "coupled" (married or what have you)... you could be single in your 30s (or 40s in my case, now), and find plenty of friends to hang with... it was great.... you were alone, but you didn't really stand out. I've lived in other cities and found them not as accomodating.

    Is it too late in the day to go out and do something to celebrate? Take yourself out for a nice dinner to celebrate that you have made it ONE MORE YEAR... which given what forum we are posting on is great news! Or rent a movie and make a giant bowl of popcorn?

    As for why continue? Continue because one day you will have what you desire, whether a family to go home to, or true friends who will not forget such a special day. I can't say when this will happen... but the future is unwritten. You won't always feel as lonely as you do right now. I promise.

  3. Christianv2

    Christianv2 Well-Known Member

    Ive had it happen before. I was all alone on my bday not this most recent one but the one before that. No happy bday wishes, no presents. I understand its hard to go on, I just hope you find a reason to do so.

    Happy Birthday by the way! :hug:
  4. Surviving

    Surviving Well-Known Member

    Hi Homer, and Happy B-Day! I agree with what Dazzle is saying. Make sure you show your self some love too; treat yourself right and the rest will hopefully follow. Have you initiated any conversations with your friends about it being your bday, maybe asking someone to go to dinner w/ you or out for a drink? Not making excuses for any one, but I am horrible w/ dates and events - so maybe they just honestly forgot. It doesn't or shouldn't make them less of a friend.

    I know it's hard...I have been there too.
  5. blindrage

    blindrage Member

    i spent my 18th birthday alone in my room smoking copious amounts of marijuana and playing css. loved every second of it. i love being alone.
  6. DeeKay

    DeeKay Member

    Actually, I might do that for my 19 birthday, sounds fun ^^
  7. blindrage

    blindrage Member

    Yeah man, tbh birthdays ARE a bunch of nonsense. i'm not just saying it to be different, it really is a nonsense waste of time. i would get into a whole bunch of philosophical bullshit but who hasn't heard it all before?
  8. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

  9. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    I can't believe I'm going to be without my wife and daughter this weekend.... and all week and next weekend and who knows how long beyond.

    I used to have them for special days. Not too long ago even.

    I can relate. Happy Birthday, my friend.
  10. BOLIAO

    BOLIAO Guest

    being single is not that bad. When I was single, I wished I was in a relationship but when I am in a relationship, I wished I was single. After having several relationships and being single for years ( on and off for a few years), if given a choice, I would choose to be single again, although it can be quite depressing eating dinner alone during valentine's day, new year eve and christmas.
  11. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    :birthday: sorry to hear that youre alone :(
    we r here, to be with you; to give you company or come to chat
  12. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

  13. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!
    I'm here if you ever need to talk. Anytime :smile:
  14. ASG

    ASG Member

    My 40th is coming in early May and I expect I'll be alone at a time when I'm already feeling at my absolute lowest. I've spent too many special occasions alone and that's been a big factor in causing to me to feel so alienated and disaffected. I've never even kissed a woman at midnight on New Year's Eve. I have OCD among other psychosis which makes it difficult for me to build, much less maintain social relationships. Now I'm not young anymore so the chances I'll marry the ideal woman and be happy are getting to be even more remote. I'm pretty sick and tired of life, literally. Not sure what keeps me going on, masochism maybe. I'm in Hail Mary mode at this point.

    I feel for you man. But unless you have something like Agorophobia or OCD there isn't any reason you can't go out and have a good time, maybe even meet someone very special, you never know.
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