I feel like its my time, I guess if I dont come back its kinda obvious. Honestly wasnt sure coming here was the best idea, I mean ya'll are helpfull at times, its my fault, I guess I dont try enough, or try at all, yet I feel as if I say too much, crazy right? Told one person thats very close to my family, worst mistake, he tried but its not what I wanted, not sure what I wanted. I thought about suicide severely, to the point where I'm pretty sure selling my home, and all my other crap should cover all my costs, I guess if anyone finds me. I could go through why, what happened, blah blah, but I'm not one to say anything, not shy, just hide my true self. I feel SH has been the only release for me, to just go home, turn off the phone, hide in bed, and see how far I can go, sick right, I think so... Please, dont reply saying get help, tell me whats wrong, or any of that stuff, because the way I see it it didnt work, wont work, wont let it work. I feel I'm just one of hundreds of thousands of people... Thanks, LST, Richard, RESTurtles.