Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by contradictingmymind, May 27, 2016.

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  1. You cry yourself to sleep,
    Every single night,
    Wishing to be perfect
    And everything to be alright.

    And in the day I smile,
    And then I say 'hey,
    All you do is utter something vile,
    And glare or walk away.

    I try to help you,
    But of course you stay alone,
    Because there's nothing I can say,
    And nothing I can do.
    I'm really bad at poems but this was just on my phone sitting there. This was when I was suffering from depression and had thought to write a poem subtly hinting at how my friends dealed/tried to do something to lift my spirits even in the slightest. I may eventually delete this (if I can) because it's not even that good/nice/uplifting... :c
    Please tell me about what you think of this really bad poem, it'll help.
    Brian777 and MisterBGone like this.
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    It's not bad at all, don't be so hard on yourself. Please don't delete it. Not all poems have to be happy to have meaning. I can relate to this poem, it is sad but still well written, nice job :)
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I think it's really good. Because it is so truthful and heartfelt. It is therefore authentic. If you want to enjoy writing more poetry, maybe try reading some, and see what sinks in? And try not to judge, or self criticize. For if we start to do that - then we never get anything good done! :)
    contradictingmymind likes this.
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I think poems are how we paint emotions with words. This is good and expresses what you felt at that time.
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