Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cybrsk8r, Apr 22, 2007.

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  1. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    I feel so terrible. I lost my Mom just before Thanksgiving. Now my roommate wants to move, which means I will probably have to move. It just seems like it's to soon after losing Mom. I've never felt so alone. My only escape is sleep. Trouble is I can't stay asleep. I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up. There's a harsh truth to be faced. I don't think I'm gonna make it.
  2. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    i feel you man...welcome to this site i know its hard to come ona suicide forum.....i cant believe you lost your mom thats terrrible indeed man. words can't describe. i wish i could feel like shit if it could bring your mom back......but please try to go out....alone even....the sun will shine each day and im sure your mom is that sunlight......take care bro.....
  3. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    i am so sorry.I lost my dad when i was 19 so i feel for u at this time.I wish i had magic words that would heal your pain.Cry it out ,cry it all out,we are all here for you whenever u need will never be alone,stay with us. lots of love and hugs to you
  4. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Hello & welcome to SF, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, it's not surprising you feel terrible.
    Now with your flatmate moving out, it seems like nothing will ever go right again but things will change, life will get brighter again, it may not be easy but will be worth the fight. You can make it!
    Now you have found us, we will offer help and support any time you need it.

    Take care
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. I am sorry to hear that you lost your mom in November. That isn't such a long time ago. With your roommate wanting to move out and the impending change that will mean for you, I can understand how you can feel this way. We can be here to help you adjust to a few of these changes and give you a shoulder to cry on if you need it to help you grieve. I am glad you found us. Take care. :hug:
  6. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    It's just been so hard. Dad died when I was 18, so my Mom was both parents for almost 30 years. It was like losing both parents all over again.
  7. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    bump for cyber
  8. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    love you bro...keep the legacy goin for me
  9. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Did you get my number?? Call me anytime 24/7 you man
  10. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    What number? Something on that myspace page?
  11. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    Sorry for the loss of your mother. Is it possible to find another roomate? I understand that moving so close to your mothers death is very difficult. Perhaps other family members can help? If you are near a college/university you may be able to post for a roomate on central bullentin boards. Good luck.
  12. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    cyber you havent called me or imed me are you okay??
  13. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Cyber if you haven't done already get some professional help. I can't really talk about how life is worth living...but for me proving people wrong drives me to succeed...or proving to myself whats right rather. Roomates who are true friends are hard to come by so try not to talk to anyone because they might take you for advantage. If my dad dies i will die immediatly because i know my mother will do the same if my father dies....she loves him too much. I dunno if you should trust me because I don't want to let you down....Calling me immediatly might give you the wrong impression with me if I something triggering. I really want to hear from but please give it at least 1 month or 2 to grieve.

    Tell me about yourself....I'm not sure but did you lose your father too? If so give me some perspective on this shit...its too hard to think about. I may have a way with words to articulate myself well but when it comes to this shit I'm wordless. I hate saying banal(unoriginal) shit so please believe these words. My first suicidal posting was filled with banal answers in my opinion. It just felt so scripted. It seems these people don't genuinly care about you but they just have a set of answers for every situation. Sleeping for now is excellent in my opinion. I used to sleep everyday but remember that the less shit you do the more depressed you get but on the other hand the more shit you do the less depressed you get. I was told that by a great friend and I don't know if that made my illness better or if it was the meds.

    I suffer from bipolar disorder and severe paranoia. I figure that everybody has an alterior motive when talking to me. They have other either say fuck off or to say a persons illness is bullshit. Getting banned by jealously or just trying to get me mad about my family it doesn't matter. Talk to me man open up. I'm here to help. I will try my hardest to get people replying to you but it seems I'm the only one who truley cares about losing a parent. I remember when you were in chat you didnt speak two words to us. Please change that it doesn't matter what you talk about(even though I can't say that for Viper). Don't worry about shit bro.....just make sure not to react when someone says your moms death was just make believe or to screw off. Life is your own these people dont know you. I dont know you. But im willing to try. Please PM me. Peace.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2007
  14. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    You gotta strive for the best cyber/I'm alive and your liver/Sorry about your moms dying yo/ I'll bust this shit because you deserve a good flow/oh......i consider you my friend but you dont have to do the same, the suicide forums is my home and im so glad you came.....

    peace bro....
  15. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member


    I lost my Dad when I was about 18. Emotionally, he was gone from my life long before that. So it's almost like losing both parents since she was really the only parent I had from about the age of ten on. I don't make freinds easily, so my support system is pretty weak. I'm seeing a grief counselor, but I don't know if it's going to help.

    I know that a lot of the responses seem scripted, but I don't think they are. The way I see it there are only two types of people on this site, those who need help and those who want to help. As far as the later goes, why would they spend any of their precious free time on this site if they didn't REALLY want to help. So I appreciate each and every person I meet here. And that includes you. Thanks.
  16. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the pm me up sometime when your ready
  17. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    I've only felt this way twice before in my life.

    When I was about 5, I woke up to find no one home. Being 5, I thought everyone had gone away and left me and they weren't coming back. I sat on a window sill looking out at the street in front of our house crying.

    Then, when I was about 10, Mom went in the Hospital for an operation. I went along to see here at visiting hours. We got to a nurse's station and someone asked me how old I was and I answered. She said, "He can't go up". You had to be a certain age and I wasn't old enough. So I sat on a couch in the lobby while everyone else got to goup and see Mom. Alternately crying and being mad at the Hospital. I don't know how long I sat there, but Mom got out of bed and came down to the lobby to sit with me.

    Now I find myself sitting on that couch again. Only this time Mom isn't going to be able to come and give me a hug.
  18. life

    life Well-Known Member

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