Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by cassandra, Jun 7, 2007.

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  1. cassandra

    cassandra Anitiquities Friend

    I've lived alone almost all of my adult life, although I have a cat. I'm not able to work because of PTSD and physical health problems, so I rarely meet people. When I do, like in yoga class, I either don't make friends or meet guys who would like to date but don't want to be 'just friends'. Since I've been working very hard in therapy about abuse in my past, I'm not interested in dating right now. I usually go out with someone a couple of times and realize that we have little in common.

    I've tried book groups, spiritual groups, and various classes, but I can't seem to break through the barriers of shyness [or maybe fear] that I have.

    I read that being lonely isn't a longing for people, it's a longing for people you can connect with....and there don't seem to be people like that in the real world.

    Most of my jobs have involved communication, and when I was younger I spent a lot of time dating or going out with friends. I'm not sure why I shut down like this; it had already started when my boyfriend died almost 8 years ago and it got worse after that.

    I'm not sure why I'm posting, but it's late here and I just wanted to talk. Thanks.
  2. Syd

    Syd Guest

    Well, let's put it this way. I usually feel like a child in an amusement park when I'm secluded and all alone. If I'm in a big crowd of strangers, it feels more like I'm inside some kind of movie being filmed by aliens on another planet, except the director and actors are all communicating in thought rather than voice.
  3. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    In general it is very hard to connect to new ppl, but i wish you the best luck and keep trying. Perhaps you want to look for some volunteer work or so perhaps with animals to find ppl of similar interests or go to a book, computer or video club. It is very hard to overcome fears and anxiety, but ive trust in you and you can do it :hug: Dont give up yet hun :arms:
  4. Twisted Sweet Lies

    Twisted Sweet Lies Well-Known Member

    You said your in tharapy. Maybe you could do group tharapy for abuse. There would be a good chance of finding people you can relate with and possibly finding friends.
  5. cassandra

    cassandra Anitiquities Friend

    Thank you all :smile:. I've done group therapy a couple of times [for abuse and a DBT group] and done some volunteer work at the library. Apparently I've just lost my social skills. Also, since I'm not visibly disabled, sometimes people think I'm either a trust fund kid or conning the system.

    Syd, do you mean you love being alone? 'cause I do too about 85% of the time. The other 15% I wish I had a few close friends [I have one who is not willing to discuss my psych/health problems] with whom I could go to movies or just talk with.

    Also, I guess I've bought into the idea that would be 'healthier' for me to know more people.

    Last week both my psychiatrist & psychologist separately said that if /when I recover from my mental health problems I might not be able to work a regular job because of physical disabilities & that really freaked me out. I thought receiving disability would be something where I took a couple years off, but it sounds like it's turning into my future. I've done a bit of freelance writing, but most people do so because they love it and to supplement a day job.

    Thanks for listening.
  6. Syd

    Syd Guest

    Yeah, I just mean that I'm never bored when I'm alone, I don't seem to get lonely like other people do either. I dislike conforming to large social groups as it feels "fake" to me, like acting. People don't always seem genuine to me in a lot of the social situations I observe, it just bothers me. Although I do enjoy the company of others, but I prefer only certain personality types. You're right that it is healthier to have relationships and friendships, if you can find the right people for your personality type.
  7. cassandra

    cassandra Anitiquities Friend

    I don't get bored either. My life is very full, and I treasure my solitude most of the time. When I don't treasure it, though, I feel desperately alone in RL. I've been diagnosed as HSP [I see that you started that thread] so that may explain it.

    That's why I found SF, aside from the obvious, looking for people who won't dismiss me as 'nuts' or 'too sensitive'.

    Thanks again-
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