Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Poirot, Sep 3, 2007.

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  1. Poirot

    Poirot Guest

    I am 25 and I live with my family at home. But despite this I am very alone. I see myself as the outcast. I am shy and someone who lacks confidence. Never had a girlfriend and I don't really have any friends. Although I am sure my family love me, they make my life hell. They put so much pressure on me to be someone. They all call me a loner becuase I don't have any friends and when I am out with them they always point out at people, mostly couples, and ask me why I can't be like that. It makes me so upset it makes me cry when I think about in bed.
    I have a job but I hate it. No body likes me and they always talk about me. I really want to leave but if I do, I'll be at home and my parents will be even worse. I can't afford to move out.

    I feel there is no way out. I know there people who are in worse situations than me, and people will think i'm selfish becuase I have family around me. But they make me so low. I would rather live alone.

    But last night for the first time I thought about ending it. My life is going knowhere. I dread everyday. I am not a bad person so why does no one like me. All I want is a girl in my life but I cant get one. I have tried everything but they never seem interested. I think girls are attracyed by confidence, which is something I don't have and that on top of my ugliness. If I had someone who loved me as I am, I would be so happy. Just one person. THATS ALL I WANT. :(

    But as days go by, I feel worse and worse. I think so hard that I miss my stop on the way to work. What am I going to do? I know im just another case here, but any advice would be appreacted. Sorry for the structure of this post, its like me life, messed up.
  2. Poirot

    Poirot Guest

    I must be a sad case. I cant even get anyone to talk to me on a forum like this so it's no suprised no one does in real life.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    sorry u are feeling so bad :hug: ur not a sad case. i hope u feel better soon :hug:
  4. Courthouse

    Courthouse New Member

    Hey. I can honestly identify with everything you're saying, and I completely feel for you. It's tough when you feel totally trapped by your fears and seeming inabilities, because they are juxtaposed against such a strong desire to be a part of the world you see before your eyes, either on TV, the internet, or interacting among people right before you. Having a family who loves you yet sends mixed messages is also very difficult. Having them not know how to deal with you, and treat you like and outcast... that is tough. I can't identify exactly with your situation, but I believe I do understand how you feel. That entrapment. That inability to move. That unbelievable fear, and feeling outside of everybody. I've been feeling the same way recently, and its really bothering me. The keyword here is hope. You've got to visualize a way out, before you can make it happen. Think ideally, what would need to happen, and just think about what you really want, without bounds, without fears, and keep on visualizing it. You are a valid person, despite what may have happened in your life. You have something to say, and you mean something to someone. I have a hard time believing it myself, but I have moments of optimism. Anyway, I hope you keep on talking, because its good. Do you write in a journal? I find that that is very helpful for me. Good luck and keep it up. Life ain't easy.
  5. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    okay, you might hate me for saying this, but right now, don't put getting a girlfriend at the top of your list, or don't let that pursuit rule your life, it isn't worth getting that desperate. Easier said than done I know, especially in your 20s when it's probably the hardest, at least in my experience it was. More important that you focus on yourself and trying to make things better as much as possible.
    I've had to develop social skills over the years, maybe you aren't naturally on the same wavelength as other people at the moment (but can change over time), this is not being rude, because I certainly wasn't at one point. But when you say you're not a bad person and no-one likes you, well, hmmm, obviously I don't know the ins and outs of your life, all I can suggest is that you try out some self-help books even if at the moment achieving the goals in these books seems million miles away - (Instant Confidence by Paul McKenna is good, although this book is highly unlikely to make you instantly confident, but may help a little). I wish I could know you in real life so I could know bit more about where you're at. I think the biggest area that you maybe need to focus on is social skills and how to relate to other people. Look up stuff on the net about it, and I think there are also sites on how to be funny.
    Also, I suspect that you have a self-esteem problem, forgive me if I'm wrong. One of the most important things in life is to learn to accept yourself. It's taken me a long time. Don't feel that being shy makes you a loser, and absolutely do not feel that being without a girl makes you a loser, whatever your family says. It does not. Confidence is a difficult thing, and that's why I haven't yet had a girlfriend probably, although I'm working on it. It is generally thought that girls are attracted to confidence, although at the same time there's no way that every guy who has a gf is super confident. It's unrealistic to expect things to change overnight, but ask yourself what is it you want and what is it you need to do to get it? Do plenty of research via books and the net if necessary.
    I'm 32 now, if you live anywhere near me (Leeds) then would be willing to meet up, but otherwise you can PM me if you want.
  6. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    Your family sounds like crap (sorry if i offended you). My parents are exactly like that. That's why i rather kill myself than to live with them. How can they be so inconsiderate of your feelings to say those things. My parents do that too. Thank heavens i don't live with them anymore. Actually, I want to be as far away as possible from blood relatives. Because all they do is just get me depressed. They are never fully supportive to... (sorry if i'm not directly responding to this thread) me. If they support me on one thing, they will immediately find other things to harass me with... such as "you should do this, or that." I know how embarassing and emotionally painful it is to have your parents say that right in front of you and other friends or family members. They think you're ok with it but you're just hurting deep on the inside and they are too selfish and stupid to realize it (sorry if i offended you). Personally, i think its time you plan to move out, if your parents are botherin' you (i believe they are lowering your self-confidence because of the painful things they say). I'm unlucky as i don't have a job. I have a low self-esteem. And i get extremely nervous at job interviews. So much so that i always have to repeat what i just said in front of people. My speeches get slurred. I've switched majors alot so theres a lot of years pissed away. I'm still deciding my damn major. Luckily i have a friend, maybe a girlfriend that i live with. I'm going away to study abroad so that i'm not a burden to my friend. I really want to move out as we argue often and she says mean things that hints at wanting me to move out sometimes. But i refuse to move back with my parents. I'd kill myself before i do, but i'm scared of suicide. Sometimes, i just want to kill myself just to make everyone around me feel bad and cry at my funeral, then they can understand how i feel. Seriously, why do people have to die before anyone does anything about it? friend is about to wake up, i better stop typing. It get difficult in the dark. I'm 22 approaching 23. Good luck with you! Cheer up man! Don't let your parents get to you. YOU are in control of your life.
  7. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    Well, i am 26 soon and feel the same way,i don't have a gf either and just a few friends who are much different then me. It sucks when you see happy people around you having fun and you can't be a part of it.
  8. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I have no family, few friends, and am alone most of the time. Often it's difficult, but there are some times that I feel, hey, nobody can hurt me now. I don't know if this helps, but at least you have a family.
  9. Laivindie

    Laivindie Member

    I was alone very long time I have nothing to live for and suddendly I found happiness!It is true that only for a short time, but it happened!Every new day can bring a surprise :smile:
  10. KavithaB

    KavithaB Member

    I know how it is to feel alone with no friends or family. PM me if you want to talk. All of us are alone sometimes, is it not?
  11. Poirot

    Poirot Guest

    Thank you for all your replies. This is going to sound selfish, but it helps knowing some people are in the same boat as me. Makes me feel I am not truely alone. Before I found this site, I thought i was the only one like me. How thick was I. I pray everyday for someone to save me from misery. So if you do exist God, get your finger out and do something for me. Find me someone. I am a loner who does not want to be!!!!!
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