Alone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by IKnowIt'sOver, Oct 2, 2007.

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  1. IKnowIt'sOver

    IKnowIt'sOver Member

    I am alone. I have been alone for a long time and I can't escape, I feel so sad and isolated but I don't know how to get out. I am currently in my first year at University, it was my last desperate attempt to find a way to be happy but it has failed already. Last year I tried a different course at a different University but I ended up having to drop out, I was very depressed and crying all the time there. I thought that maybe this time it will be different but even though i am living in student halls I have already become seperated from the groups of happy people all around me. The half year inbetween the two universities I spent living with my parents who I barely even speak to at all, i didn't cry there but I was still sad all the time. I have felt depressed, lonely and helpless for most of my life but there is nowhere to go. I can say hello to people and stutter a few lines of conservation but within a few days they drift away and eventually they always tire of my weak attempts to make friends with them. If I was certain that death is nothingness then I would leave because you can not be alone if you are nothing, you can not be sad or cry or feel depressed, but i am crippled by my doubt which tells me what id you go to a Hell or the next place is worse or if i fail and am paralysed or suffer brain damage. I am trying to stay at University but it is so difficult especially as I see the fun and happiness everyone else has here, what should I do ?
     
  2. Hatemylife88

    Hatemylife88 Well-Known Member

    I have friends but they talk to me if they need help in something, they never call me. they hang with me only if there is no one else. They lie to me everyday, im trying to be a good friend but its not enought. I would like sometimes to shoot all of them i have so much hate in me wwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrw
     
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