im really having a shit time, with everything, my life, me, my gf, with everything. its been going on a couple of months now and i always find myself back here, feeling suicidal and not wanting to be here. Today i feel like ive just been thrown over the edge head first. ive had enough. and i mean it. i really needed her tonight. and she left. i pushed her away because thats what im good at doing with people. so its partly my own fault, although i thought she loved me and wouldnt leave me here knowing how i am and how i feel. but she did. now im alone and on here. cold and tired and crying and very suicidal. i dnt wanna be alone right now, i need u people so much right now :'( i wanna do it. i just want to be gone. it hurts so much, everyday. inside me and i want it to end. i cant go on like this. ive had enough and whoever said it gets better, lied. cause it doesnt. it never does. it just hurts more. i dont think i have long left in this world anymore its almost time.