Alone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HoneyBucket, Feb 10, 2010.

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  1. HoneyBucket

    HoneyBucket New Member

    I'm a sophomore in high school and I've had clinical depression since I was 11. My father abandoned my family to live with another family when I was young and as a result it has made it almost impossible for me to trust people and connect with people. I just feel so hopelessly disconnected with the whole world. I have a few friends but it's purely superficial none of them know the real me. I spend most of me days laying on my bed and staring at my ceiling because I can't bring myself to move instead of going to the mall or dating like a normal teenager. I'm so exhausted feeling so lonely. Every time I go to sleep I hope that I wont wake up. I wish I could connect with somebody so I could feel like a person. I have this constant fantasy of going in my bathtub and cutting open my wrists with my box cutter. I guess I'm posting this on here because I want someone to tell me they went through a similar experience and got thought it.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...there are so many ppl here that have gone or are going through a similar situation...I used to cut a lot when I was younger and now that I have a voice and a way to express how I feel, I do not have to...welcome and hope you find the company you deserve...big hugs, J
     
  3. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty depressed right now, and most of my connections are superficial too. I can't say that I'm going to get a lot out of this life. So I can relate.


    :mortd:
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just wanted to say hi and welcome. :hug: You're not alone here; I think there are many people who have had similar experiences to what you described.
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I also relate to where you are.. I spent fourteen years just lying in bed staring at the ceiling wishing I would die already..Then I got a therapist and she is good at what she does.. She told me the thoughts will probably be with me the rest of my life because they are so deep rooted.. She has taught me coping skills to help fight the thoughts.. She also has gone over the cognitive distortions one has..I fit in most categories..You can fight this too.. Check around and find a good therapist then sit down with your parents and let them know you need therapy because you feel the world is closing in on you..I wouldn't mention the suicide part because they would probably have you put in the phsyc ward.. There is nothing to be afraid about that either.. Just take a book because you do alot of sitting aroundwaiting..I hope you seek the help....
     
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