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  1. i feel so alone. i don't know what to do about it.

    my 30th birthday is coming up this week. i had this huge party planned in my mind. it would be this classy party but have a club feel to it. my problem was that i didn't have the funds to have this party. so now i'm having a black & white potluck party at my house.

    not exactly how i planned to celebrate turning 30.

    but now.. no one is responding to the invite i sent out a couple weeks ago. and the ones that have are saying they can't come. looks like i'll be spending it alone.

    i had big plans for myself. things that i was supposed to accomplish by the time i turned 30. i'm supposed to be living comfortable with a family of my own, living this fabulous life. i don't quite have that though.

    with thanksgiving having just past, i did reflect on what i do have and i truly do feel blessed for that. i have my own home. a loving husband. a stable job that i enjoy.

    but i'm in major debt. am obese. no kids. no friends.

    outside of my job and husband, i have no friends to hang out with. no friends to talk to. i'm alone. and with my birthday coming up, it has reminded me of that.

    i have spent a majority of my life wondering if anyone would ever notice if i was gone. other than my family, no one was there cheering for me at my high school or college graduations. i spent almost the entire graduation ceremony arguing with my parents (who were in the audience) on my cell phone when i got my master's degree. most of the people who i invited to my wedding declined.

    i'm thinking about cancelling my birthday party. no one's coming anyway. and the sad thing is, my dear husband (being the man that he is) probably won't do anything special for me if i did cancel.

    i feel alone. as if no one would notice if i were to disappear from this earth.

    how did i end up this way? why did my life not stay on the path that i had planned for it? why is it that something as simple as my birthday turning into this huge emotional disappointment? i just feel alone.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I will be turning 30 in january. Maybe then I'll lose my virginity? :unsure:
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Well.. Duno how to help u.. But.. Theres a lot of people on SF in similar positions.. sigh.. I wish I could be of more help.. but I guess Im kinda useless.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Happy birthday...coming soon and know that turning 30 is a time to account for ourselves...why not take the money you would have put into the party and buy yourself something you want? and tell your husband to take you out to dinner or do something that you both will enjoy...also, now is the time to see who at work, etc. is someone you wish to get closer to, and invite him/her out for your birthday to get closer...happy birthday again and hope you plan something wonderful for yourself...J
  5. well, my birthday was a HUGE disappointment.
    but i saw who my true friends were.
    and though i should be be happy to know who really are my friends and who really are not, i was sad to see that i had so few.
    just fyi, out of the 30+ people i invited, only 2 showed up.
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry only a few showed up.

    guess it's time to make some new friends. do you volunteer anywhere? that's always a good place to meet new people. i volunteer three days a week and have met some very nice people there. plus i have made friends and reconnected with old friends on myspace and facebook.

    happy belated birthday.
  7. sara856

    sara856 Account Closed

    You know, its funny (well, not really) but if I could rewind the clock three years to when I turned 30, I could have been writing the same thing.

    I remember feeling so depressed when I turned thirty. I too had (have) few friends, and all of them lived far away. I too thought about "why hasn't my life turned out differently? I had so many plans and dreams for when I turned 30, I have none of them. I wanted to have published a novel, be married, possibly have kids, and have my own established in a career....and I have none of that. I havne't even WRITTEN a novel, I have no husband, I live in a dinky little apartment, and a nowhere job."

    I don't know if this will make you feel better, but every single person I know has had similar thoughts when they turned 30. When I talked to my one friend (who is five years older than me) she told me she also did a "life review" at 30 and became completely depressed. My cousin, who I have recently gotten closer to, said the same thing.

    There is something about age 30 that triggers all kinds of thoughts of that type- a reevaluation of life, and almost always a disappointment. Things so rarely turn out in life the way we expect them.

    One thing that helped me was making a list of the things I DID have. I actually wrote them down. A home, a job, a tv stocked with movies I could watch, a nice cat as a companion, a few good friends, articles and stories I've written and published, etc. And then I thought about all the things I've overcome- things that as a child I had no idea that I would face- a clinical depression problem, money problems that kept me from graduating college, and etc.

    Try writing down the things you have and the things you have accomplished, all the things that are important to you. That might help.

    Also, it might be good to remember (as I tell myself often) when it comes to friends, its not the quantity but the quality. Some people have fifty friends but no really close friends. Having one or two really good friends is a remarkable thing- its better to have a few you can really pour your heart out to and count on than a million you can hang out with but who woulnd't really be there for you.

    Anyway, I can honestly say that I've been there- things do get better. Happy belated birthday, and hang in there.
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