Man wtf I don't even no how to explain it. no matter what It is in my life it just takes a dive down to failure or nothing ever just works out. dosent matter if its me betting on a sports team me playing a damn video game I always have to lose. ive lost at life and I cant even win at a video game? I guess what gods trying to tell me is im just ment to lose, or its the devil just destroying everything in my path to make me want to commit suicide, I haven't really decided which yet. well anyway im just ready to kill myself im so BEYOND fucking done with this bullshit. im already dead inside my mind, I only just have a body and a pulse that I left behind, but im determined to end that and make this stop for good.