I'm writing here hoping to feel alive, because inside i feel already dead. i dont feel anything when my mom cries while talking to me trying to make me feel better and think that life is worth living. i dont feel anything when i think about my life. my loneliness, my emptiness, my hopelessness. i dont feel anything when i think about my death. i'm already dead inside so maybe thats why i dont feel anything anymore and physical death can wait. i keep thinking about suicide but in a way, i already have that numbness i wanted to get through death. my life is so worthless.