Already gone.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by OwlEyes1370, Oct 21, 2014.

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  1. OwlEyes1370

    OwlEyes1370 New Member

    I'm basically fine during the day.

    But then night falls and I can't sleep. I can't do anything anymore. I used to work at night. Or clean. Or draw. But now... Nothing.

    My husband belittles me. He lies and then treats me like an idiot for questioning him. He had an affair with his boss. I can't prove it... But I know it happened.

    He went to bed ignoring me again.

    How is this my life?

    How have I managed to marry the one person that makes me feel horrible about myself? Our children are so perfect. I stay alive for them.

    But every day, I wish I could just drift peacefully into a forever sleep. He could never hurt me again.
  2. Husky

    Husky Well-Known Member

    Hi OwlEyes1370, Thank you for sharing how you're feeling. I'm very sorry that your husband belittles you and it's disheartening to hear that he's not respecting you either. It's good that you're fine during the day. I hope you don't mind me asking this but what do you do during the day? I think our bodies are tuned to sleep at night and keeping active at this time can catch up with you. Then again, people work night shift all the time so this is not always the case.

    Distracting yourself at night with drawing, cleaning or working is a good strategy if you're struggling to sleep. Actually, most forms of distraction are good to take your mind off things so I would encourage this. This affair must have really hurt you and I'm sorry you're in pain at the moment. I'm really pleased though you see that your children are perfect as I'm sure they are. It is a great reason to keep living and I'm glad you see that.

    How long have you been feeling like this for? You're a good mother and a good person. I hope that you're feeling better soon. Husky.
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