Alright SF, here ya go.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by The_8th_Wonder, Apr 26, 2009.

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  1. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    You can't even be suicidal on this forum because most people can't handle it. This forum is a social one where people have made cliques and shut out others from their group. If you can't be happy at some point and make friends on this forum, you will never get any support when you are depressed. People on this forum just come here with the hope that they can actually get some support and they shooed away by the cliques. Virtually anytime somebody goes into the chat and tries to talk about suicidal concepts they are shunned and made fun of by the a holes on this site. People are fine and they just stay on here because they have made some friends on this site. Is that really what the site is for? I didn't know a SUICIDE forum was for members who are happy and trying to get happier. I'm sorry but this is ridiculous. Unless you are well-known or somebody feels like making themselves feel better by helping you, this site will only make your depression worse. Get out while you can new members. Here's my question... why the hell is this site here?
     
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Already answered on your thread "why would people care"? If you want specifics, I'll share some with you if you send me a pm.
     
  3. Bubble

    Bubble Well-Known Member

    Chat is a social place,
    Not everyone is sucidial/depressed 24/7, some people dont even use chat because they are down they just use it for social purposes, distractions etc.
    There are other rooms in the chat for triggering subjects etc..You cant expect everyone to join in with suicidal discussions if they arent feeling the same as you.
    If everyone were suicidal all the time wouldnt they be locked up? I mean, everyone needs a break from feeling like that all the time, its cruel to expect everyone to be sad so when you come into chat seeing people happy and joking, shouldnt that be a relief? Oh so not everyone is sad all the time, how good is that? Not get angry and come and post about it.

    It really makes me sad when i see posts like this.
     
  4. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    I joined chat today depressed and alone. I was intimidated by the established conversations going on but I found the courage to join in! I no longer felt alone, I felt as if people were there (not FOR ME exactly) but just existing! The mere fact people responded to a joke or an observation made me feel good. I thanked them for the company and I left feeling ok

    I don't want to join a "super cool SF group", I like talking to individuals who have their own interesting points of view
     
  5. JustSam

    JustSam Well-Known Member

    To be honest, I'm a little tired of this. And how not open most of you are. And yes, it's great that we're here for each other, but do you ever have the mind that's open enough to realize that maybe the reason some of us are so harsh is because we're a little to afraid to talk seriously.
    That that may be a problem for us?
    THAT MAYBE we don't wear our hurt on our sleeve and it even makes us uncomfortable seeing others?
    and to come on to one place, a time a day and see that we're not so terribly ridiculous insane and alone is a little bit of comfort?
    And maybe we could feel like our life isn't just complete shit FOR A LITTLE FUCKIN BIT?
    no.
    We're just cold heartless bastards, who do our little cliques.
    Maybe we're just a little tired of those people who come on and as we all know they are here, are completely fake in claims of depressing feelings and just here for attention.
    Maybe it's the fact that when our pain is belittled like that, it's a little annoying.
    And you know what, i don't know if anyone else feels like that. So nevermind the we and the us, change it all to me
    Maybe I'm just not that strong enough to be that fuckin open. Maybe you should lay the fuck off for a bit. And realize that ALL OF US not just you are hurting. and just b/c we don't show it in the way YOU'RE not used to, doesn't mean the pain's not there. My fucking God.
     
  6. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    That's not what I meant. I mean that people are making cliques and making others feel like shit. If somebody happens to become depressed (because ya know that happens sometimes) unless you have been social nobody will care. I'm not saying that the chat shouldn't be a happy place where people make jokes sometimes but it doesn't make sense that it should be that all the time on a suicide forum does it? This isn't facebook or myspace.
     
  7. Bubble

    Bubble Well-Known Member

    So happiness isnt allowed all the time? Should I leave then? Because I dont use sf if i dont feel happy, i dont like to come here craving for attention i like to feel part of a group rather then an outsider.
    I actually got told yesterday that I shouldnt use this forum because im not sucidal, but im pretty sure there are more people then just me that use this forum for other purposes than being suicidal even if thats what its called.

    I didnt say it was facebook, I said it just wasnt a depressing atmoshphere all the time. It shouldnt have to be discussions on suicide all the time. And its not. If you dont like then why complain why not just leave?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2009
  8. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Once again clearly you don't understand. If I was the only one hurting I wouldn't have written this post. Somebody PM'ed me saying that they can't say shit because there's a small group of people who will just shoo them away and say hurtful things about them. Why the hell would I think that a forum would cure everybody of their depression? There are a selective group of people on here that shouldn't be here. They say things such as, "We are mainly happy people trying to get better."
     
  9. JustSam

    JustSam Well-Known Member

    who the eff are you talkin about then?
    srsly?
    cuz idk ANYONE here that way
     
  10. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I think I know the people you're talking about 8th...I remember feeling a bit intimidated, because it seemed like they were the 'cool' kids of sf or something...but as I've spent more time in chat you realise that they're actually nice, sweet people, just putting up a bit of a front...cos you know, everyone deals with things differently. Me myself, I feel depressed and suicidal almost constantly but am able to joke around and laugh, that doesn't mean that me or anyone else is 'less depressed' than anyone else...because everyone's different. If you're ever in chat and want to talk, feel free to pm me.
     
  11. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    In chat there is a triggering subjects room....maybe you can go in there and talk to people very seriously about very serious things...is there someone harassing you or a group of people harassing you specifically?
     
  12. the op's point is valid, how can anyone get help with these little groups of jackels howling to themselves, they are ignored and if anyone goes to ts it can take ages coz no one cares, not even the mods.
    this site has gone down hill over the past few years and is no longer the same site that Robin wanted.
    you will soon find out how shit this place is, and god forbid if you piss any of the jackels off, you will be hounded out and stabbed in the back before you can blink.
    what was once a friendly supportive site has turned into another social site run by power hungry children all with their own agenda.
    give it time and you will see
     
  13. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    How long have you been here?
     
  14. the only way this site will work is if you

    stay out of chat, keep to the forums, the best members and support is found there

    never give out personal contact details

    limit your time here and not on a regular basis

    and maintain a life outside sf, the best help you can get is from yourself in the real world.
     
  15. Anonymous Dude

    Anonymous Dude Well-Known Member

    This makes sense and it's advice we should all consider, especially in finding real life support. I've found it a lot better to find a person you can look in the eyes giving you emotional support. I come here when I can't
     
  16. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Good advice but four words. Easier said than done.
     
  17. i agree its easier said than done, just don't let the site suck the life out of you
     
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I know what you are referring to. I was there...

    Maybe you weren't referring to tonight's chat,but I'm guessing you are.

    What I've learned from chat:

    Don't ever take anything personally.You never know what state or how fragile the person on the other side is.

    Your safety is ultimately your responsibility(mods cannot be there 24/7) so if you're feeling triggered leave and stay on the forums.

    As for the cliques, there are cliques everywhere in life, people make friends and stick to them, thats the way life works, so I don't see why it would be any different even on a suicide forum. If they're breaking the rules or intimidating you,report them to LTM.
     
  19. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    I have been here since 2007 but only active for 2 years. Honestly I have not noticed any Cliques the only thing I have noticed is that the "Senior members" seem to be more knowledgeable and more willing to help. That is for obvious reasons though.
    As for chat I have had no problems, I've had to help break up one or two fights but no one has gotten criticized for saying they needed help or someone to talk to. Only when people talk about SH or Suicide will they get told to move to triggering subjects.
     
  20. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    Ok, i wrote a massive post but have decided to delete it and just post the conclusion i came to:


    For new members,
    Here at SF there is a buddy system, you can find a list of buddies here. The point of a buddy is to welcome members and help them 'settle in' if they feel uncomfortable, confused or low but the thing is, hardly anyone uses the buddy system except to increase their friends/contacts on facebook/msn/yahoo etc. and the members the do need the support of a buddy don't know we exist!

    So there you go, SF isn't completely fucking lost, they have set something up to help new members but they aren't using it.

    A note to the staff, a fair amount of the new members i have spoken to over my time here don't know what buddies are for, maybe, somehow you can point them straight to the buddy list when they've joined so they know who is a buddy and what they are for. Instead, i believe that new members (like i did when i was new) head straight for chat and sit there in silence hoping someone will want to reach out to them and get to know them but instead are shunned until they get the courage to speak up and join in with the conversations in chat.
     
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