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Also looking for a reason to get out of bed

#1
Hi...just another little hello to everyone. I am still struggling ... struggling to forgive myself, struggling to want to live...only thing keeping me here is the same as always...my fear of death and going to hell and the devastation it would cause my family. My husband has said that if I go he goes...everyones life would be destroyed. My family would be humiliated, etc. I am on sertraline and I swear it is making me worse....I can not sleep, etc. I feel like I have in some ways already left this world. Thanks for listening.....
 

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
#2
Hey @Hatingmyselfdaily

Firstly I’d like to say sorry you’re feeling like this *hug :(

secondly, what are you trying to forgive yourself for?
Fear of death is pretty normal. I’m petrified but I often feel that everyone in my life would be better off without me. Even my kids. Why would your husband tell you that? I mean I can’t say he wouldn’t take his own life too, but it’s a little extreme :(

I hope you start feeling better soon. I was also on sertraline too. I also hated it
 
#4
Sorry that things are so bad

I'd be happy to make some suggestions that might help if you'd like

I hope things can get better soon
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#5
Sad to hear things are bad but great to see you checking in here, wishing you the best.
 
#9
Hey @Hatingmyselfdaily

Firstly I’d like to say sorry you’re feeling like this *hug:(

secondly, what are you trying to forgive yourself for?
Fear of death is pretty normal. I’m petrified but I often feel that everyone in my life would be better off without me. Even my kids. Why would your husband tell you that? I mean I can’t say he wouldn’t take his own life too, but it’s a little extreme :(

I hope you start feeling better soon. I was also on sertraline too. I also hated it
I need to forgive myself for doing something a bit hateful towards my brother for no reason...it was a manic moment that I will not try to explain. He was not physically hurt. This occurred after I suffered a trauma. My husband said that only because he said he could not live without me especially if I did something foolish like take my own life.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#10
I have been on it a year...now up to 150 mg. I need to get off...it is doing nothing. I need more therapy not meds. Meds don’t help ptsd....
Oh, yeah, after a year if it's not helping you should definitely talk to your doctor about getting off of it. Just don't try to do it on your own.
 
#11
The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods.

Here's a copy in case you're on a phone.
Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety

You might want to try soaking your feet in Epsom salts and warm water before you go to bed. Acupuncture and traditional Chinese herbal medicine are also worth a try.

If you think sertraline is making things worse, you might want to ask your prescriber about a change in meds
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#12
Your husband feels like he would blame himself if you took your life. People often feel that way when someone close to them does this because they were right there and they were talking about it and they didn't do enough, etc. (Clearly there is nothing you can actually do but it's how they feel so...)
Have you talked with your brother about whatever happened between the two of you?
 

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
#13
I need to forgive myself for doing something a bit hateful towards my brother for no reason...it was a manic moment that I will not try to explain. He was not physically hurt. This occurred after I suffered a trauma. My husband said that only because he said he could not live without me especially if I did something foolish like take my own life.
We all make mistakes and hurt the ones we love, it’s just the way life is. You have to forgive yourself in order to move forward. I hope you can do this some day :) how does he feel? Has he forgiven you?
 

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